the big tv
May 11, 2009
I like television as much as the next guy. Which is to say, I have about 3 shows I like to watch, and besides those shows, I have a TV so that I can watch movies. Cuz I like movies.
So when Kim’s parents were getting rid of some stuff, and their gigantic 60 something inch TV was on the block, I said “sweet, just let me borrow a truck.” I had never had a TV so big I couldn’t fit it into my car.
Kim wasn’t so excited. “I don’t want a big TV” she said. “People will think we’re TV idiots.”
“Who, besides your family and our 3 friends, will ever come into our house and even see this?” I said.
She relented. And the weekend after we put a TV as big as a horse in our family room, Kim’s Masters Thesis advisor, whom Kim hadn’t seen in years, came to visit.
We settled into the couch in the family room to catch up, and Cecilia took one look at the enormous screen and said “So, you guys like TV.”
Kim shot me a look of such venom I should have reacted like Will Smith in the tub with the Box Jellyfish in Seven Pounds. Except her look also said in very clear words that only I could hear, “TELL THEM THE TV WAS YOUR IDEA! Tell her YOU’RE the middle class eyes-glazed-over-brain-turned-off idiot!”
How awesome is that? We finally get, for free, a TV as big as a car (well, a Smart Car), and the very next weekend, the ONE person in the whole world (including me) Kim wants desperately to think highly of her, walks into the house and immediately assumes we spend our days and nights watching Survivor and American Idol.
Kim may have to go back and get her PhD to re-establish credibility.
May 11, 2009 at 10:55 am
So did you dive onto the grenade and confess the TV is for you? Or did you let Cecilia’s assumption stand and cash in on that “for better or for worse”, we’re in this together part of the marriage deal?
Can I come over and watch American Idol with you on the big TV? I want to be able to see Paula’s zits and Simon’s facial stubble.
May 11, 2009 at 11:38 am
At first I thought you said “Paula’s tits.” Or maybe that’s what you meant. Cuz she doesn’t put them under a bushel.
May 11, 2009 at 12:00 pm
Ironically I rejected my first word choice of “Paula’s pimples” because I thought it would get me into this very trouble.
May 11, 2009 at 11:19 am
What’s wrong with Idol?
May 11, 2009 at 11:30 am
So, congrats on not getting sucked into american idol!! Can I come over and watch Rambo IV with you and Ian and Holden. I’ll bring Chelsea and the popcorn.
May 11, 2009 at 2:37 pm
steve, the only rambo we’ll be watching is first blood, cuz it’s awesome. don’t bring that rambo IV garbage over here.
May 11, 2009 at 4:28 pm
Sorry!!! I just remember you talking about the movie. Believe it or not I still haven’t seen it. First Blood was definitely the best of them.
May 11, 2009 at 12:38 pm
Soooo, a PhD in stating the obvious…interesting. i’m still waiting for the time when schools at least attempt courses in common sense.
May 11, 2009 at 12:41 pm
you handled it wrong. you should have looked at her and said, levelly, “Would you like to go through the rest of the house and continue your Tour of Judgement?”
go on the offense, man.
May 11, 2009 at 1:01 pm
Sometimes, late at night, I’ll pack up the family and put down a blanket on the hill in your backyard. We’ll sit up there for hours and watch whatever it is you guys watch on your big TV. We can’t hear it very well but the picture is outstanding. Even from 50 yards away.
Thanks for leaving the windows open for us and sharing your wonderful, huge TV with us.
May 11, 2009 at 4:30 pm
Rick, what night?? We’ll bring popcorn you bring the soda!
May 11, 2009 at 2:20 pm
A bigger tv is great for catching all the vivid details of educational,wildlife, and science programming on PBS, Discovery, and The Learning Channel.
You could say.
May 11, 2009 at 9:04 pm
kim’s right. you should get rid of the tv. it’s good for nothing. in fact, i would like to help. if i can find a flatbed trailer, i’ll come and get it out of there for you. yep, i’m an idiot.
May 11, 2009 at 9:59 pm
I don’t like TV either, but you would never know it. I had to get this big-ass TV just because there was a huge built-in place for one in my house. Plus, the cable guy laughed when he saw my little 13″ TV in that big hole. Pretty silly and expensive decoration. It’s still a little cringe worthy though. I feel your (or Kim’s) pain.
May 11, 2009 at 11:43 pm
Poor Rick. He has to watch your TV from outside. He should just come over to our house where we watch your TV from our dining nook during dinner. If it’s a good show, we linger a bit at the table, bonding, as we watch your TV down the hill, which even from far away, is still bigger than ours close up.
May 12, 2009 at 7:21 am
I think big TVs rock! Olivia, I will take your big ass TV off your hands and trade you for a big ass painting to hang in your built-in place. Problem solved.
May 12, 2009 at 8:47 am
Ho Hum…I don’t know what you guys are all talking about. Watch Greys Anatomy? I don’t know about you but I read Greys Anatomy.
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28694
May 13, 2009 at 2:23 pm
I had a 60 inch TV in my basement and I didn’t
want to even move that heavy thing again so I sold my house with it included.
The guy who bought my house didn’t want it so he gave it to his friend who came to pick it up with his weakling little buddy.
So after listening to them struggle to get it up the stairs for 20 min. I finally went and helped them lift that heavy old POS into their truck.
Good times.
May 13, 2009 at 7:32 pm
Ours is hidden in the bedroom.