the killer schwa

You know how things are always Killer? That ride was KILLER! No, really, the downhill is KILLER! I swear, the new Transformers movie is totally KILLER! (Okay, I made that last one up.)

You know what’s killer at my house? The Schwa. Seriously. When my kids want to make a point, to express disgust, anger, resentment, defiance, whatever, they add the killer schwa to the end of the last word in any sentence (or, you know, sentence fragment).

Like this: “Maddy(ah)! Stop changing the channel(ah)!”

Or this: Ian takes Holden’s Reeses Peanut Butter cup. “IAN(ah)!”

Or even this: “Maddy, no. Swimsuits have to cover both the top and the bottom.” “MOM(AH)!”

I don’t know when this killer schwa entered our language, but I want it out.

Now(ah).