no honor among thieves

June 8, 2011

The other day I wandered into the breakroom/kitchen to heat up my cup o noodles, and noticed a guy pounding on the vending machine. Apparently the previous customer had tried to buy some peanut M&Ms, only to have the package hang up in the curly dropper mechanism, and this guy was expending considerable energy trying to get a free bag of M&Ms. The bag was just hanging there, by a thread, and could only be saved by the elders of Israel.

Wait. Nevermind.

Anyway, getting free M&Ms from a vending machine is, of course, is a very worthy cause. So I helped. We went so far as to do the “one, two, THREE!” tilt of the machine toward us to try to wiggle the M&Ms free. I’m sure we would have made a captivating entry in the Darwin Awards for 2011. Just our limbs poking out from under a giant metal vending machine.

But no luck, and no M&Ms. So I said “hey, I’ve got a spare single in my pocket, let’s see if I buy a pack, the other pack drops. I’ll split it with you.”

I put in my dollar, and the hanging-by-a-thread M&Ms fell, but the next pack just assumed the hanging-by-a-thread position. Denied.

But my partner in crime whipped out a heretofore hidden dollar of his own.

Score!

And then he put both packs of M&Ms in his pocket and walked out. Without a glance, without a word.

Seriously? Is there not a shred of honor among thieves?

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13 Responses to “no honor among thieves”

  1. Jeff Says:

    The least he could have done was give you the original dangling packet (I originally used “package” here and it felt very wrong) then wait for you to leave and then whip out his own dollar. Now he’s a marked man.

  2. stevebpt Says:

    cold, just cold. did you at least get the one “packet” you paid for? And I would definitely mark his cubicle/office for future shenanigans. Love that word.

  3. Clydesteve Says:

    If he would have jeered at you and claimed victory, and then stole the free package, it would have been honorable. But… no comment? Just take them?

    huh.

  4. Rachel Says:

    Does he know he was caught on video? And posted on the world wide web?

    WHOA- new comment form. Did you do that?? I don’t like change.

    • dug Says:

      rachel, he doesn’t know. as far as i know.

      i have not altered comments or ads or anything on this site in years. totoro must have done it.

  5. bikemike Says:

    free vending machine m&m’s is not as worthy as true love.

  6. Andy Says:

    What!? That bastard! You should have chased him down and beat his thieving ass on the spot. Dead man walking.

  7. The Flyin' Ute Says:

    On my last bike ride we got in a good discussion about “honor among thieves” regarding all the doping “allegations”.

    I hate cheaters. I had to compete against my own teammates who were doing steroids as well as all the losers on other teams (even byu). Bunch of dang losers!

    But, I must admit there is at least something to be be said for keeping your mouth shut and denying it to the end. (ala John D. Lee- Mtn. Meadows Massacre)

    Tyler Hamilton and the rest of you who chose to cheat. Just stick to your original story.

    Just my two cents.

  8. Jon Says:

    Just be careful. More people are killed yearly by vending machines than by Bears. Watch your ass at the office.


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