stretchy pants
January 10, 2012
Consider this a cry for help:
Not clear? How ’bout this:
I’m not buying new pants. I can beat this thing.
Course, the line or two of double stuff Oreos I did last night while watching Lord of the Rings didn’t help.
I need food poisoning.
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January 10, 2012 at 10:45 am
or just go get one of those tape worms. Best friends for life!
January 10, 2012 at 11:07 am
At least you haven’t resorted to the “rubber band trick” to provide that extra few inches of necessary stretch. I had to employ this tactic last year in order to fit into my snowboarding pants. (Depression followed soon after…)
Not familiar with the the above-mentioned trick?
Here’s a tutorial: http://diymaternity.com/pants-skirts/the-rubberband-maternity-trick/
Appropriate that it’s used for a pregnant woman.
January 10, 2012 at 11:41 am
Giardia — the gift that keeps on giving.
January 10, 2012 at 1:41 pm
I hear you, fellow 40-something (that’s age, but it could be waist size if I don’t reverse the trend). My spare tire is growing. And I will not weigh myself (denial is my friend).
Cheapness has been a faithful ally against weight gain. I usually making sandwiches for lunch and don’t eating out a lot. But at the new job they bring lunch in every day. And it’s good stuff. Today’s lunch was cheesy potatoes, a full chicken breast, rolls and the token salad. Theoretically I could just reduce the portion size, but the other side of cheapness is I go overboard when it’s free. I’m like a hobo at Chuck-a-rama. I can’t repel firepower of that magnitude! Help!
PS: A memo said the M, W, F lunches would end in December, but they didn’t. Now they say the 18th. It’s my only hope, Obi-wan.
PPS: End of the Star Wars references this is.
January 10, 2012 at 1:43 pm
PPPS: Desert today was an ice cream bar. Gaaaa! Nom, nom, Gaaa!
January 10, 2012 at 3:45 pm
Tis the season, after, tis the season. May I suggest egg whites and avocado. You would make a perfect guinea pig to test what’s his name diet. See if he makes house calls(you are not fit to be seen in public) so that you are sure to get the mix’ns right.
January 10, 2012 at 4:12 pm
it gets much better after 50. it does…what? hey, quit laughing…stop, man. c’mon, dammit, this ain’t funny. oh, well, that’s just gross. is that an entire bag of oreos you just passed through your nose?
fine, do it your way. by the way, grapefruit turns testosterone to estrogen in men. good luck with that diet, nancy boy.
January 10, 2012 at 4:19 pm
What about getting one of those button holder things pregnant ladies use before they go for the full on belly stretch pants? It could work.
January 10, 2012 at 4:48 pm
Naw. It’s too late for those to do any good.
January 10, 2012 at 7:42 pm
Dug, I’m so glad you’re back. Your posts and the resulting abusive comments make my day…
January 10, 2012 at 9:30 pm
Really? Maybe the SPANX you have been wearing have just worn out?
P.S Do the SPANX really work? I might need to get a pair.
January 11, 2012 at 1:32 pm
Glad you are back….you were missed. I see your brother is a lot like my sister, they sure keep ya humble don’t they
January 17, 2012 at 3:31 am
Mind those photos, Dug. Anthony Weiner started this way.
January 19, 2012 at 10:52 pm
No wonder you broke your bike…
January 31, 2012 at 10:09 pm
Dug, I’m so glad you’re back. Your posts and the resulting abusive comments make my day…