strava: modern miracle or evil incarnate?

May 14, 2012

Okay, I know it’s a little passé to talk about the Stravas. But if you’re like me, and you just got into Strava this season, then for good or ill, it is transforming the way you ride.

Actually, make that for good and ill. Maybe mostly ill.

Like today. Me n Ricky are sitting in staff meeting, trying to decide what time to meet at the Draper pool for some Corner Canyon. Meantime Kim pings me about something I need to do at home. So Ricky goes to the pool, I go home, and ride from Suncrest. He’s coming up Ann’s, I’m heading down Ann’s, and when we meet, we’ll turn around and head back up Ann’s and up to Jacobs.

Soon after I pass through the brand spanking newly opened tunnel at Potato Hill, I hear/see Ricky coming the other way. As he flies by me he says “turn around, ride fast, I’m on Strava-fire!”

In other words, “can’t talk now, if I slow down, my PR will be in jeopardy, and my Strava followers will think I’m slow.”

So I flipped around and chased him up Ann’s through the tunnel, and up to the Peak View trailhead, where we both promptly got off our bikes and laid down to die. But screw it, cuz we both got PRs on Ann’s, and Ricky got a podium on the Full Ann’s. And I don’t think we’d spoken to each other since he passed me going the other way.

And then we climbed Jacob’s and did a no-stop downhill of Jacob’s and Ghost, where I was hoping to beat my PRs on both, and maybe break into the top 20, which I haven’t been able to even sniff since one of my first few Strava attempts established my high mark for those runs that I keep missing by a minute, even though I simply could not go any faster with a motor and 10 inches of travel, a situation, by the way, which has caused a Matrix level of distrust for Strava that makes me think there’s an Oracle or Source somewhere at Strava headquarters that I need to hunt down and kill.

After we split up, I had one more Strava moment in me, so I passed the switchback from Canyon to Brock’s so I could get a running start at the Brock’s segment and go for another PR. As I lay dying (ha!) in the Peak View parking lot, at least two people came over to ask if I was okay.

Damn straight I was okay–I knocked 24 seconds off my old PR. I was so happy I could have died right there.

Until I got to my computer to see all my segments, and noticed that once again, Strava had foiled me on my Jacob’s and Ghost downhills.

KAAAHHHNNNNNN!

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25 Responses to “strava: modern miracle or evil incarnate?”

  1. rsunderlage Says:

    KOM hunting in CC can only be done during the night now. If you die on Jacob’s going for the PR, we will make a rock pile in your honor.

    • dug Says:

      dick, lunch works. it’s pretty sparse up there at lunch.

      i’m pretty sure that strava is responsible for the spate of near death collisions we’ve seen in the corner canyon area lately. can’t slow down, pr on the line.

  2. ricky Says:

    cleary, strava’s a bad influence. when friends can’t talk to friends something’s broken. looking forward to the day when we can just buy a podium spot and not have to ride. that’ll be sweet.

    • dug Says:

      forget racing. it’s strava that is going to drive me to dope.

      strava is going to kill me dead. we rode jacob’s mostly together today (and by mostly i mean i did it faster). strava gave you a 4:48. it gave me a 5:55. i don’t think i could have gone any faster without cutting the trail.

      i am going to strafe the strava control tower.

  3. Matt Says:

    Strava is doing to cycling what Fantasy Football did to the NFL…took a sport, made it a virtual world and all the participants forgot why they loved the experience in the first place as they were too focused on rankings.

    Unplug and rejoin your souls!

  4. GrizzlyAdam Says:

    Strava interest starts high, peaks quickly, and then plummets. You’re in the peak stage. Soon, you, like everyone else, won’t care anymore.

  5. Steve Says:

    come back….however, Kahn could have something to do with this, who says he died in the Genesis explosion? Maybe he evolved into some super being!!

  6. Bikemike Says:

    So this Strava thing is like Pong?

  7. ShedBiker Says:

    So….what’s a PR?

  8. BM Says:

    Incarnate? Are you sure about that? Because my understanding is that there has to be some kind of meat or flesh involved in order to qualify. Like chili incarnate.

  9. Nate Says:

    Strava-fire! I like it!

  10. kanyonkris Says:

    Really? This from The Shepherd who set many on the path of mountain biking enlightenment? Don’t be the Strava Empire’s Darth Vader, come back to the light side, Anakin. This sums up my reaction to this post:

    • UtRider Says:

      I think the torch has been passed and you are the new shepherd of the flock. Did you think of that commercial because you remembered it from your childhood? it was awesome but dang, you must be old man! :)

      • kanyonkris Says:

        dug will always be The Shepherd. See recent video of dug taking youth on Anns.

        Of course I remember that video from my childhood, it’s classic, and that was only 1971 so I’m not that old. Right?

  11. planetjenn Says:

    Um…waitaminute…am I passe?

  12. Brandon Says:

    True and funny.


  13. […] few months ago, my friends started using Strava a lot for their rides. (Strava is an online social network of people who upload their bike ride information from their […]


  14. […] few months ago, my friends started using Strava a lot for their rides. (Strava is an online social network of people who upload their bike ride information from their […]


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