But first, remember when Izma says to Kronk “Why do we even HAVE that lever?!”

Look, I’m a very busy guy. I have lots to do. I want to be able to walk into my grocery store, grab the Oreos, and go home and eat them. Why do you even SELL regular Oreos? Why aren’t Oreos, by default, Double Stuff? I don’t want Oreos that go to eleven. I just want Oreos. But I want them stuffed, doubly. All the time. It’s not a special treat that I get when I’ve been good. I don’t eat regular Oreos to punish myself.

Please make all Oreos be double stuff. otherwise, we’ll end up with lots of wafers laying around, looking for a home.

[And don't tell me to make other confections with the wafers--just don't.]

The break room is sweet, with a giant electronic key card honor snack/drink area, the lobby is full of cool glass sculptures, and I’m ten minutes from Corner Canyon.

But let’s cut to the chase. It’s all about the bathrooms.

Yup, that’s soothing art on the wall.

No touchy water fountains and paper towel dispensers, no touchy flushers. Nice.

Oh. And we’re a Leed Certified (Eco SUPER Friendly–hybrid cars get front row parking) building. So, no water in the urinals (that we don’t put there ourselves).

I guess this is nice. Here’s my problem–that pee turf matt is crooked. I’m going to need some Leed Certified tongs to straighten it.

I feel like Paul Rudd in “Our Idiot Brother.”

“I don’t know, maybe I should have tried harder.”

Here’s the latest one, just up the street from me, which is really more of an overlook than a trailhead:

And when I say “overlook” I really do mean, OVERlook.

As in, you must look over a fence in order to see the view. It’s almost like a mat that has conclusions you JUMP to.

So, what? Did they finish the benches and drinking fountain and signage, and then check the books and realize they hadn’t spent the whole budget yet?

“Say, do you know what would really finish off this spectacular overlook? A fence that not only doesn’t keep anything out or in, but also is constructed so close to the benches and at such a height that it actually obstructs the very view passersby have stopped to enjoy.”

Maybe a good book instead.

I took this picture at about the start of the meeting. The parking lot was about 3/4 full.

“They also serve who only stand and wait:”

What would make this better? If Steve had to wear a helmet and carry a flashlight. A boy can dream.

Not clear? How ’bout this:

I’m not buying new pants. I can beat this thing.

Course, the line or two of double stuff Oreos I did last night while watching Lord of the Rings didn’t help.

I need food poisoning.

See how smart he is? We went, and it was good.

Here is the video to prove it.

But first, a word about energy drinks.

If an energy drink says “Drink one hour before exercising,” that, in my limited experience, doesn’t mean “one half hour before exercising.”

The video below shows limited footage from our first ride, which was Goulds, JEM, RIM. That’s because my 30 minute mistake resulted in having a stomach full of sharp knives for about 3 hours. The same 3 hours we were riding Goulds, JEM, RIM. So I rode alone a lot. Sleepy hung back with me a bit. Thanks Sleepy.

Anyway. Here is the feeelm:

I stole this from a Backcountry.com Facebook post:

This winter of my discontent has not helped alleviate the year of the Great Suck, nor has it diminished my ennui.

However, THIS has helped:

The snow may not be deep, but it’s kind of like Utah lake–8 feet isn’t deep, but it’ll float your boat.

It’s deep enough for this:

And this:

In short, we’re getting by.

We’ve missed you Ian:

Maddy, it may be deep enough to ski, but if you’ve gotta sit one out, this is the one to do it.

Here at my new place of employment we have buildings and facilities that seem more Class B ish.

And here, everyone is welcome to have their own mini fridges in their offices, which saves wear and tear and space in the ONE fridge in break room, a fridge that should theoretically be able to house the lunchables for about 200 people.

Uh huh.

We have the usual sign on the fridge, you know, “stuff left after Friday at 5pm will be given to the pack of feral dogs outside, yada yada yada.”

Except.

Don’t believe it.

I discovered a tupperware in the fridge a while back, that I’ve been watching as kind of an experiment. And by a while, I mean three months.

Yup. Still there.

We are moving to new, Class A offices in a couple weeks. Where they say we can’t have personal fridges because it’s too ghetto.

More ghetto than the spaghetti? I don’t think so.