where did they learn to drive like this?

April 18, 2008

I’m in San Diego with the family this week. I’ve been here since late Tuesday night, and I just have to say this: California drivers are the BEST!

Seriously, where did they learn to drive like this? I mean, duh, of course they learned to drive like this here, in California. But man, these drivers are AWESOME.

Let me just try to describe the awesomeness.

First, California drivers ALWAYS go the right speed. Nobody drives in the left lane unless they are in exotic sports cars or driving Ducatis, and going at least 110mph. Or, if someone absolutely MUST use the left lane to get around someone (rare, or course, since drivers here pretty much are always going the right speed in the correct lane), they only stay there long enough to get around. Really. That’s it. They either go fast, or they slip in, then slip out. No lollygagging in the left lane.

Everyone goes exactly fifteen miles over the posted limit in the middle left lane, ten miles over in the middle right lane (that’s another awesome thing about California highways–they have LOTS of lanes, which is a bit disorienting for newbies like me–it’s hard to know just what to do with so many lanes), and 5 miles over the speed limit in the right lane. Nobody goes the actual speed limit, of course. That would be lame.

And what’s weird is, they have NO old people who forget, no vigilantes who enforce the speed limit with their gigantic SUVs, and especially, there are NO Mexicans who just recently arrived in this country and have only a rudimentary understanding of traffic laws and customs. Which is quite odd, considering how close San Diego is to actual Mexico.

Second, California drivers are VERY courteous. That is, if you ever need to merge in after a short or twisty on-ramp, or you need to get from the middle left lane (not the far left lane, because that would imply a Ducati or Ferrari, which just isn’t me) over to the right lane to exit, people simply make room. It’s like they know where your exit is, and as a group, they facilitate your passage. I’ve never seen anything like it. California drivers are like the Borg, but without the creepiness.

Now that’s just freeway traffic. On city streets, it gets even better. I don’t even have words to describe it, but let me just say this: if there are cars in heaven, and please God, let there be cars in heaven, it will be a lot like California. Only with more hybrids.


7 Responses to “where did they learn to drive like this?”

  1. eric Says:

    I know people that have left Utah and have not come back. Don’t get too spoiled down there. Its start with the driving, the freeways and the next thing you know you have a fire sale of all your belonging and live on the streets of San Francisco.

  2. mark Says:

    You obviously are not traveling anywhere near San Jose or Palo Alto. But then again, why would anyone travel to San Jose if they weren’t being paid to do so?

  3. dug Says:

    mark, i don’t know what you’re talking about. i used to travel to palo alto every month.

    i refuse to accept that there is even a tiny corner of california where anybody drives with anything BUT total awesomness. ALL california drivers are like ninjas, but without the homicidal mania.

  4. Fish Says:

    Are you going to RAWROD?

  5. dug Says:

    fish, of course. gotta practice my new driving skills.

  6. KanyonKris Says:

    How come sarcasometer is going off?

  7. dug Says:

    kris, have you even BEEN to california?

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