seriously, how old am I?

April 30, 2008

Last week, I did something I haven’t done in about 10 years. Namely, I played softball. Slow pitch softball. In what I think is the lowest division of the local city league.

When Paul asked me if I’d like to help fill out the roster on a local cops team, I laughed. But he was serious, so I laid out my conditions, sure he would move on to someone else.

Condition #1: No practices. Anybody who practices slow pitch softball wishes he had played college ball, has a chip on his shoulder, and needs more beer, not more softball.

Condition #2: No more than one (1) game per week. Anybody who plays more than one game of slow pitch softball per week wishes he had played college ball, has a chip on his shoulder, and needs more beer, not more softball.

To my surprise, Paul said “done!”

We’ve played two games now (not in the same week, of course). We won the first one in a dramatic, come-from-behind-in-the-final-inning finish. And we lost the second game by 15 runs. And I enjoyed both games.

You know what? I think I’m comfortably settling into middle age. The key will be to not suddenly gain 20lbs. I confess, I’m worried.

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7 Responses to “seriously, how old am I?”

  1. brkeyes7 Says:

    My guess is 44. I could be low. Is the 5 lbs you are already up this year part of the 20 lbs you are monitoring?

  2. dug Says:

    brad, this is NOT the fatcyclist here, we won’t be monitoring my weight. unless i get extra fantastically huge, then i’ll take pictures, and join a freak show.

  3. mark Says:

    Does it really matter what your team did? We want to know your personal stats. Come on–there’s no “team” in “I.”

  4. Sleepy Says:

    I like the guide lines you have set. I would like to add that the team cannot wear sliding pants, flip down shades, or the one wristband on the glove hand.

  5. dug Says:

    mark, i’m 6 for 7 so far, all clean hits. go figure. as an outfielder, my performance is a bit spottier. i don’t want to talk about it.

    sleepy, i’m with you. except that some guys have sliding pants. i’m not sure how to handle it–do i ask them to take them off? do i threaten to quit? do i point and stare? i’m just not sure what the correct response should be.

  6. Rick S. Says:

    Dug- Ball n’ Stick sports? Really?

  7. Bob Says:

    6 for 7? You’re due for a slump. Either that, or you need to wear sliding pants and slip-down shades.


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