pain is weakness leaving the body

May 29, 2008

My friend Stuart, former road and mountain biker, full time hair stylist, used to tell me that “Pain is weakness leaving the body” before he gave up cycling and took up smoking full time.

But racing bikes is just pain, which, along with the weakness, doesn’t seem to leave the body at all. Last night was pain in Draper. A good day for locals, Brad won his Expert class, Jamie took 3rd in Singlespeed, Sam took second in his Sport class, Tony P won his Sport class, Rick S took 6th in SS, Elden took 5th in his (and mine) Sport class. And there are others, I was in too much of a fog to figure it all out.

Elden was nice enough to announce to the world his intention to race with me, and kick my ass. Oh how the mighty have fallen–a year ago, he was killing himself trying to finish Leadville in under nine hours. Today his stated goal is to beat me. You do the math.

Anyway. In addition to pain, racing is fun. Not fun enough to do it a lot, but fun enough to always do it when they hold a race on my home trails.

A quick summary of my race: Elden and I started at the back of the Sport Men 40+ category. Well, actually, I think as we entered the singletrack, Elden was just behind me, and there were two others behind him. To ensure that I started the climb in last place, as we approached the water, I strategically crashed/washed out in a tight right hander. Okay, NOW I’m in last place. Yeah me.

I’m what you might call a slow starter. I HATE the first 5-10 minutes of a race, but once I settle in, I feel pretty good. That is, good enough that I don’t want to kill myself after the first 5-10 minutes.

Larry of the Sport Men 50+ caught me, passed me, and I figured, Larry’s fast, if I can just keep him in sight, I’ll finish respectably. So that’s what I did, pretty much for the rest of the race.

Halfway through the second lap (half lap) pretty much every possible class in the race collided. My group started catching kids and beginners who were finishing their first lap, and the pros finishing their second big lap were catching us. So just as we would come up on a beginner, who would be weaving all over the place on tight technical singletrack, we would hear a pro coming up behind. And the pros, as they approach, make a sound like a freight train coming right at you. We all would skootch to the side, and they would go wooshing by at an unbelievable speed. And they can pass ANYWHERE. It’s crazy. Steep, tight, exposed switchback? Doesn’t matter, they’ll drop the short edge and pass you. ANYWHERE.

I finished, according to the big board, in 10th place, which I think is right in the middle of the Sport Men 40+. No problem there. And Elden finished in 5th, a few minutes ahead of me. Which, according to the complicated handicap system employed in Draper, based on his Leadville finish last year, and my Leadville NON-finish, and other various factors, like his infinite web popularity and celebrity status, and my obesity, translates into ME actually beating HIM by a couple minutes. I’m pretty sure that’s how it works.

Anyway. This is my favorite race. Home trails I can ride from my garage, killer singletrack, great climbs, great descents, the whole enchilada. And my daughter was at the finish to see my blood, sweat, and tears. If I had to choose just two events to do, it would be Leadville and Draper Days. And maybe not Leadville.

Pics from the event (Thanks Shelle. More pics coming, just not ready yet):

Me n Maddy at the finish (she’s trying very hard not to laugh at my wobblyness, and the bib straps under my pink jersey):

dug n maddy finish laugh

dug n maddy finnish

Some pink jersey’s at the start. Those kids in the background are wondering if that is really the FAT CYCLIST in person. Elden’s never too busy to take a minute to make the fans happy.

pink group pre-race

Me, not quite yet in last place, at the start. Notice the logo on the back of my new jersey:

dug start of lap 1

Had to include this one. Check out the hair on that guy behind me. Red Bull gives you wings:

dug coming through finish area

Official race pic at the top:

race pick top

and official race pic on Clarks:

race pic clarks

25 Responses to “pain is weakness leaving the body”

  1. KanyonKris Says:

    As usual, your style of writing is fun to read. Good recap.

    10th is surely top 1/3 of the field, probably top 1/4. There were around 40 racers in Sport 40+. You did good! And rolling the single-speed is always impressive to me.

    Although when you roll past with the wicker basket and teddy bear on your SS bike, and ring you bell, it made my suffering all the more bitter. But with therapy I’ll get over it.

  2. Adam Says:

    Good times. I love those trails. And racing them always is a blast. I think without a doubt, Clarke’s is the best descent on the entire ICUP circuit. I was almost lamenting that the race was shortened. Otherwise we could have gone down it once more.

  3. Bikemike Says:

    dug, coke owes you big time. obviously elden switching YOUR wheels didn’t hurt much.

  4. BotchedExperiment Says:

    I like your interpretation of the results. I like it a lot. I’m pretty sure I’m getting a sub-9 at Leadville this year.

    You need 2 things: 1) A shotgun. 2) Bars on Maddy’s windows.

  5. KanyonKris Says:

    dug, it somehow fits that you got the “unique” fat cyclist jersey. Most folks would have returned the defective garment, but I suspect you like it better that way.

  6. brkeyes7 Says:

    good job duggler. highlight of my race was riding a few feet with you at the end and thinking how sweet the knee highs were looking. Although, they do nothing to squelch the manopause, more of a badge of manopause.

  7. VH1 Says:

    Brad, I agree with you on the knee highs. My favorite part was watching Fatty squirm while taking pics with his “peeps” and signing autographs.

  8. […] I know you’re going to ask, so: Dug took tenth. His story’s here. And worth reading, I might add, were I so […]

  9. Elden Says:

    I hereby increase my offer for that jersey to $300. But I’ll go no higher.

  10. KanyonKris Says:

    Botched: I have a 17-year-old daughter and I have a shotgun, but must add the window bars post haste.

  11. dug Says:

    kk, and maybe a restraining order for botched.

  12. BotchedExperiment Says:

    You guys would understand the window bars better if you had grown up in Willard, Missouri where “courting” was synonymous with “sneak into girlfriends bedroom through her window.”

  13. mark Says:

    Dug, I am yet to see a pre-race picture of you that does not include a 44oz diet coke. Amazing.

    Also, I think I will steal that start picture for the blog post I’ve been planning about how everyone, even skinny guys, looks fat in a cycling jersey. Except for Rick S. I’m not gay, but if I were, I would find him attractive. At least in the pink jersey. Was he posing, or is that his natural posture?

    Of course the real motivation for my post about everyone looking fat in cycling jerseys is to make me feel better about looking fat in all my cycling photos, the problem being the actual fat is what really makes me look fat. But I digress.

    Oh, and Botched, I don’t think the “sneaking into windows” courting technique is limited to Missouri. I grew up not too far from where Dug lives, and I have circumstantial evidence that such courting techniques were employed well into the last century.

  14. KanyonKris Says:

    Results are up. You were right, only 19 racers in Sport 40+. So you hit mid pack. I’m thrilled to get mid pack. You had 4 minutes on me. Elden was 3.5 minutes out from you.

  15. Jot Says:

    I would say that the shotgun and window fortifications were a good idea, if I hadn’t seen those last photos, where clearly you have thought ahead.

    1) Knee high black socks
    2) Plaid shorts

    Walk around with her at the mall in that outfit and you have nothing to worry about.


  16. Bob Says:

    That’s it. I’m moving to Alpine.

  17. Catri Says:

    Love the shorts– my grandfather had a pair just like that, that he wore with black knee highs pulled up to, well, his knees and beyond. They were more like thigh-highs, really. But, you wear it well… A basket, townie handlebars and a little flag on the back is all you need now!

    Great post!

  18. Rick S. Says:

    Mark- It’s hard to look manly in pink and lycra.
    Dug- I still think you should pack the basket full of bananas and hand them out while on the course. You would be so popular.

  19. Don Says:

    I just LOVE the pink and white basket. Didn’t your bike used to have streamers too though? Congrats on, er, beating (?) Fatty in your, uh, the Draper, handicapping system.
    Side thought: heh heh heh, upside-down jersey pocket…

  20. Mickey Says:

    i like your shorts who would wear them during a bike race…you must feel cold in them. haha funny!!

  21. […] mielessä seuraavan lausahduksen, johon sattumalta WordPressin kautta tänään törmäsin: “Pain is weakness leaving the body“. Ah, mun elämä on niin tota, taidanpa ottaa lentäväksi […]

  22. pohlse Says:

    “My friend Stuart, former road and mountain biker, full time hair stylist, used to tell me that “Pain is weakness leaving the body” before he gave up cycling and took up smoking full time.”

    Your friend Stuart should have a really serious back surgery. Then let’s hear what glib remarks he makes about pain.

  23. dug Says:

    pohlse, right, i’ll make a note, no more glib remarks about pain. cuz that would be wrong.

    on the other hand, it’s just possible stuart HAS had serious back surgery, and continues to make glib remarks about pain. the bastard.

  24. […] pain is weakness leaving the body My friend Stuart, former road and mountain biker, full time hair stylist, used to tell me that “Pain is weakness […] […]

  25. I personally think about the reason why you labeled this
    particular posting, “pain is weakness leaving the body dug”.
    In any event . I really appreciated the article!

    Thanks for your time,Zella

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