Dribs and Drabs

May 30, 2008

When I was a teenager, I went on a long bus trip from Minnesota to Illinois with a youth group, and my brother, Steve, and I thought it would be fun to make some of our busmates’ pee blue.

This is easily accomplished by putting some methylene blue in someone’s coke. Which we did. But being curious, I tried a little of the coke myself, and sure enough, my pee turned blue. Awesome.

Now here’s the thing about boys and peeing–we drip. That is, as the saying goes, “no matter how much you jiggle, nor how much you dance, that last drop will always end up in your pants.” Totally true. But that last drop normally means nothing, since it’s easily absorbed by the underwear and forgotten about–unless, that is, the last drop is BLUE and the underpants are WHITE.

I admit, I took no small amount of grief for that.

But that’s not my point.

My point is, I’ve been finding WAAY too many last drops on the toilet seat lately. That’s not right. It’s not neighborly. It’s not sanitary.

I’d like to propose a guideline: like all good campers, let’s leave the toilet seat in better condition than we found it. Think about it–it’s YOUR pee, YOU should clean it up, right? I’m not talking about getting out the mop and military-cleaning the bathroom. I’m talking about getting up after you’ve done your business, scanning the toilet seat for drips, and grabbing a few squares of TP to clean it up. After all, when it’s YOUR pee, you could clean it up with your shirt tail and nobody would care, including you.

But when it’s NOT your pee? Well, if you’re forced to clean up someone else’s last drop just to be able to sit down, and some of the drop gets on your hand, nothing short of a freaking hazmat team will suffice to keep you from amputating your hand on the spot.

Nobody wants that.

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10 Responses to “Dribs and Drabs”

  1. KanyonKris Says:

    I support your “pee clean” movement.

    But I must point out that when I proposed the pay-it-forward method for dealing with the empty toilet paper roll, I was poo-poo’ed (hehe). Aren’t these similar scenarios?

    I sense incongruity – but then that’s life, or at least human.

    I’m off to pick up some methylene blue. Have a good weekend all!

  2. Flahute Says:

    One of the nice things about living in Belgium? Bathroom attendants who cleaned the toilets after ever use.

    Another nice thing about living in Belgium? Most of the time when you had to pee, you just looked for the nearest car tire.

  3. bikemike Says:

    what’s it called when it slightly more than dribs and drabs. oh and by the way boys stepping on it in front of the toilet is almost and bad as sitting on it. dug, i think that book you’ve been meaning to write, “Toilet Use For Dummies” is in dire need at this moment. thank you for your attention in this matter.

  4. BotchedExperiment Says:

    You’ll be glad to learn that uless the urinater has a UTI, urine is steril.

    I often use it to cleanse wounds.

  5. dug Says:

    KK, these are NOT similar scenarios, except that they both occur in the bathroom, in the general toilet seat area.

    one scenario means, don’t sit down unless you know you have sufficient TP to finish the job, and if you use up the last of the TP, replenish it.

    THIS scenario has YOU making a mess on the toilet seat. I’m just saying, clean up your mess.

    bikemike, there are other facets to t his we could have covered. for example, at a urinal, as the day goes on, the puddle at the base of the urinal, on the floor gets bigger. can’t we fix this by having everyone make sure every drop gets IN the urinal? how hard is that? but like one rubbernecker causing a traffic jam, it only takes one yahoo in the day to start the puddle, and once that puddle is there, you can’t stop it. gotta nip it in the bud.

  6. Bob Says:

    You should find the culprit by putting methylene blue in your children’s beverages. Also consider installing a videocam in each bathroom.

  7. dug Says:

    bob, that’s a good idea. it will work for the house. but i’m not just talking about the house, i’m talking about ALL bathrooms.

  8. KanyonKris Says:

    dug, the restroom expert, must love the news about the troubles with the International Space Station toilet.

    Here’s an article about “relieving yourself” in space:

    http://www.sciam.com/article.cfm?id=getting-a-handle-on-space

    My favorite quote: “You just float around for awhile doing things with a bag on your butt,”

    dug, I think your bathroom, uh, fastidiousness disqualifies you as a potential astronaut.

  9. Crystal Says:

    women are the worst about this. you would think we’d be able to handle ourselves considering we have one output mounted firmly to the bottom of our bodies with no room for dangle or dribble. but they insist on hovering. and they don’t even bother to clean it up! they will pass you on their way out of the stall and smile like they didn’t do it. but they did. you can tell. and then if it is someone else’s pee, i always have to clean it up so the person after me doesn’t think i am the one whose urthera resembles an unsupervised firehose. woe. straight up woe, dude.


  10. Good advice! You don’t need to be an expert.


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