June 5, 2008

Have you ever walked around with your cell phone in your breast pocket, because when you were in your car, you wanted easy access to it, and if it’s in your pocket, then you have act like some kind of contortionist and escape your seatbelt while dodging traffic to answer it, and by the time you finally get the phone out, you’ve missed the call, and then later you forget the phone is in your breast pocket, and you walk around the office with it in there, and you go to the bathroom, and realize you’ve got to sit for a bit, but before you sit, of course, you should take some toilet paper and give the toilet seat the once over, just to be sure, and when you lean over to give the back of the seat the final swoosh with the TP, your cell phone slides quietly out of your breast pocket and lands with a pretty big splash right in the middle of the toilet, maybe splashing a tiny bit on your pants, and then you have to fish the phone out of the water, somehow, and then you still have to finish what you went in there for without actually touching anything with your contaminated hand or using the phone, even if it rings, and then use the sink, somehow, and make a nonchalant exit/mad rush to your cubicle to disassemble the phone to allow it to dry, hoping that it comes back to life, considering you bathed it in acid to disinfect it?

Um, me neither, duh.

But does that void the warranty?


19 Responses to “whoops”

  1. VH1 Says:

    Even worse than that is having it slide out the pocket and into a storm drain. True story it happened to my first blackberry.

  2. Fremont Mike Says:

    I was out fishing on a pier, (during working hours), and had to take a call from my server guy. I finished up the call and got a bite on the pole. I put the phone in my shirt pocket and reeled in a nice trout. When I bent over to land the fish, the phone slipped out and I got to watch it swirl down about 15 feet before losing sight of it.

    I was able to call it for about an hour before it stopped ringing.


  3. Rick S. Says:

    I’m not saying that this happened to you but if it did, it could have been much worse. At least it was before you did your thing and not after.

  4. Jay Says:

    All I have to say is layer the seat with toilet paper before you sit down. Seriously, you sit on the actual seat?

  5. dug Says:

    jay, this probably deserves its own post, but i’ll just say, i find my solution less ewwy than yours. toilet paper is an okay solution for wiping, both the seat and your ass, but not as a sanitary layer. can’t stand the tp layer, can’t stand waxies, just can’t. maybe it’s like when kim wants me to use the crest white strips–i get claustrophobic just thinking about it.

    i need a pill.

  6. uncadan8 Says:

    It only voids the warranty if you tell them what happened. And I wouldn’t do that.

  7. KanyonKris Says:

    dug, you’re a wonderfully candid blogger. At least your misfortune and angst entertains.

    Did you pee on your hand to sterilize it after fishing out the phone?

    I was helping my daughter learn to rappel at The Kitchen in Rock Canyon (Provo, UT). She was about to start down when I noticed her long hair was not completely tied back and in danger of getting sucked into the rappel device. I reached out to pull her hair back when our brand new first digital camera rolled out of my jacket pocket. I watched it slow-motion free fall down the 30 foot drop and shatter upon impact with the ground. My wife was down below and saw it smash too. We were both mad. I think I held my tongue with all the girls around, but I can’t be sure. We eventually recovered from the loss and by then an even better camera was out for the same money so there was a silver lining, I guess.

  8. Rob Says:

    Single sentence story. I like it.

    I would have used the other end of the plunger and tried to cram it deep into plumbing in hopes that a “lost” story would fair better with the warranty than showing up to Verizon with your phone in a zip lock bag insting that “they” take it out because you’re not touching it again…

  9. Keith Says:

    It’s official: I will never, ever borrow another person’s cell phone. You never know where it’s been.

  10. Lori Says:

    Nah, things like that don’t happen to me either but have a, er, friend that this happened to. But when she dropped the phone out of her pocket, it was mid-flush. Bye-bye phone! Glad things like that don’t happen to me!

  11. VA Biker Says:

    Unfortunately, there are immersion indicators inside phones. They change color when exposed to moisture. So, when the technician takes your phone apart, the red dot of shame will reveal that your phone took a trip into a swimming pool, river, or “other”. Imagine what those guys are touching and don’t even know it.

    BTW, take your phone into pcs, and bake it for several hrs in a low oven (~120°F) to get the best chance of recovery. Always take the battery out ASAP after a bath (regardless of type), to ensure that the circuits of the phone are not energized and wet.

  12. Bikemike Says:

    dug, you have “serious” toilet related issues. now, i’m not saying that “serious” is a bad thing but your toilet fixation is both impressive and “serious” at the same time.
    thank God we’re not face to face because i would have to use those gawd-awful “air-quotation” thingys you do with your fingers and man i hate that worse than dropping my cell phone in the toilet right after someone else “used” it, if you know what i mean.

  13. Grizzly Adam Says:

    Get a headset. The phone can stay crammed in your pocket, or wherever, and you can still answer it while driving. And then it never gets put in the shirt pocket, and never falls into the crapper.

    Just don’t leave the headset on your ear the whole day, because that is just dorky.

  14. BotchedExperiment Says:

    Congress should enact legislation requiring phone manufactures to make a toilet exception in their warranties.

    Since I got my new phone, I’ve been thinking about this very thing. It’s only a matter of time before it happens to me. About a week before I got the new phone, I had a near miss, where my old phone bounced off the side of the toilet seat and onto the floor. If it had gone into the pot, I’d have flushed and run out the door.

  15. BotchedExperiment Says:

    KK, peeing to sterilize is an excellent suggestion.

  16. mark Says:

    At the local middle school, there was a girl who asked people to borrow their phone so she could call her mom, and then she’d take the phone into the bathroom and flush it down the toilet. Eventually the toilet backed up, but there were a lot of phones in there first.

  17. MoCougFan Says:


    Wasn’t it you that peed on yourself? One of my all time favorite posts and commments.

  18. BotchedExperiment Says:

    MoCoug, you ask as if it is unusual, I mean who hasn’t peed on themselves?

  19. Anyone who has performed the old cunny lingus (ish)has no doubt tasted it.
    Not a problem!

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