i’m not crazy, part ii

I am the most normal person in the entire world. There is nothing weird about me, nothing crazy. I’m so normal I’m boring.

So, you can understand that I get a little worried, or nervous, or concerned, or FREAKED OUT when this happens:

Kim and I are driving from Draper all the way up to Lagoon to pick up the kids. We stop at Chipotle on the way, and each pick up a naked burrito (just the contents of a burrito in a bowl, no tortilla) to eat on the way.

We’re back on the road, and she eats her burrito first, gives me a couple bites (hers was better), and when she’s done, she unwraps mine. I got some sour cream on mine, along with some cheese, and she asks me what I want her to do with the sour cream. I say “just stir in the sour cream and cheese.”

And she says “Oh yeah, I forgot about you and your food prep.”

Now, you good folks living in the Internet, am I crazy? “Just stir in the sour cream and cheese.” That’s what I said. I eat my food like everybody else, I put it on my plate, and I eat it with a knife and a fork. I don’t even mind if the corn gets in the potatoes, or if the bbq sauce gets on the beans. Don’t care.

I have “Food Prep”?

I grew up with 5 brothers, 4 of them older than me. When we would have steak or roast beef for dinner, I learned early on that you don’t cut your entire steak into bite size pieces, then eat them one by one. Cuz with those rabid animals sitting at your table, you would end up with just the one your fork was already stuck in. So you put your fork in the piece you want to eat, then cut it off from the main piece. That way, the small piece is never out of your control.

But that’s not crazy. Or weird. That’s Norman Rockwell normal.

Once during a Fall Moab trip, we went to JBs for a late night dinner. We’re all sitting at the table, eating like normal people, and suddenly Rick Maddox says to Brad “Hey Brad, do your impression of dug eating.”

I Am Not An Animal! I Am A Human Being!

So I tell that story like 10 years later, while having a family Sunday dinner at Kim’s mom’s house, and Sleepy says “I totally know what he means. Here, I’ll do it.”

WHAT? People DO me eating?

I will now light myself on fire.