why fall moab matters
July 9, 2008
Every Fall, me n the gang head down to Moab for a long weekend. We call it Fall Moab. We’ve been doing this for almost 20 years, which, by my reckoning, is a long time. When you’ve been doing something like Fall Moab for almost 20 years, you make some memories. Some are keepers, some are not so much. Some are memorable just for the hair.
One year it was just me, Brad, and Bob. We got there late at night, and woke up to several inches of snow. And while falling on our heads while sliding down slopes on the aptly named “Slickrock” is hard to forget, it’s not so much a keeper.
Wall pushup contest between Brad and Bob? Keeper. Rain on Moab Rim? Forgettable. Robert dragging Bob by the feet into a muddy stream? Keeper.
Last year we held Fall Moab in St. George, camped, had about 15 people, and told drunken stories around the campfire of a lifetime of misadventures, including pooh stories from Chile, naked hooker stories from Germany, and crazy amorous single mother neighbors in Montana. See? Keeper.
But I have one memory from Fall Moab that stands apart, alone, above. It is, in short, my favorite Fall Moab memory ever. It’s what keeps me coming back, year after year.
Rick Maddox loves to give advice on a ride. Stuff like “keep your head in the game,” and “be the move,” and even “try pedaling harder.” Not sure during which Fall Moab iteration Rick set the memory bar so very high, but on the triple stair on gold bar rim, Brad had blown his wad on what seemed like his 11th attempt, and he crashed on the second stair and crumpled to the rock, pretty much motionless, maybe dead. Rick ran over to (we thought) check on Brad and maybe administer first aid or otherwise help, telling Brad to “stay down Brad, stay down.” That’s when Rick jumped on Brad and started dry-humping him. I have never laughed that hard in my entire life. I think we laid on the ground for 20 solid minutes before any of us could speak.
And that’s what keeps me going back, year after year. Someday, the dry humping memory will be topped, and I want to be there when A-Rod breaks Barry’s record.