why fall moab matters

July 9, 2008

Every Fall, me n the gang head down to Moab for a long weekend. We call it Fall Moab. We’ve been doing this for almost 20 years, which, by my reckoning, is a long time. When you’ve been doing something like Fall Moab for almost 20 years, you make some memories. Some are keepers, some are not so much. Some are memorable just for the hair.

One year it was just me, Brad, and Bob. We got there late at night, and woke up to several inches of snow. And while falling on our heads while sliding down slopes on the aptly named “Slickrock” is hard to forget, it’s not so much a keeper.

Wall pushup contest between Brad and Bob? Keeper. Rain on Moab Rim? Forgettable. Robert dragging Bob by the feet into a muddy stream? Keeper.

Last year we held Fall Moab in St. George, camped, had about 15 people, and told drunken stories around the campfire of a lifetime of misadventures, including pooh stories from Chile, naked hooker stories from Germany, and crazy amorous single mother neighbors in Montana. See? Keeper.

But I have one memory from Fall Moab that stands apart, alone, above. It is, in short, my favorite Fall Moab memory ever. It’s what keeps me coming back, year after year.

Rick Maddox loves to give advice on a ride. Stuff like “keep your head in the game,” and “be the move,” and even “try pedaling harder.” Not sure during which Fall Moab iteration Rick set the memory bar so very high, but on the triple stair on gold bar rim, Brad had blown his wad on what seemed like his 11th attempt, and he crashed on the second stair and crumpled to the rock, pretty much motionless, maybe dead. Rick ran over to (we thought) check on Brad and maybe administer first aid or otherwise help, telling Brad to “stay down Brad, stay down.” That’s when Rick jumped on Brad and started dry-humping him. I have never laughed that hard in my entire life. I think we laid on the ground for 20 solid minutes before any of us could speak.

And that’s what keeps me going back, year after year. Someday, the dry humping memory will be topped, and I want to be there when A-Rod breaks Barry’s record.

broke_back01

Advertisements

10 Responses to “why fall moab matters”

  1. Rick S. Says:

    And then there was the vanilla Gu pack that exploded on Rick M’s black lycra shorts. But I agree with you Dug, I’ve never laughed so hard in my life.

  2. KanyonKris Says:

    Good post, dug – if I would have been drinking something it would have been expelled out my nose.

    Rick, I used to like Gu. No more. Ever.

  3. bikemike Says:

    you had me at “slickrock”

  4. Jay Says:

    Do you have that on video?

  5. mocougfan Says:

    Priceless.

  6. brkeyes7 Says:

    I can’t wait for Fall Moab. Ricky, you comin’?

  7. dug Says:

    brad, if i read the tea leaves and the gu packet right, i think ricky already . . . oh, nevermind.

  8. americanson Says:

    All of the sudden my desire to ride Moab is diminished. Awesome story, thanks for sharing.

  9. Bob Says:

    You don’t have your facts straight. Robert never dragged me into the creek. He TRIED to drag me into the creek. Tried and failed.

  10. Ricky Says:

    Dug, thanks for sharing. I’ll never forget that FallMoab trip. Since the shift to single speeds, we don’t spend very much time trying to master difficult moves over and over and over. I think I was crazy from the heat and exhaustion that day. That plus, well, Brad is Brad.

    Last year, FallMoab in St. George was different. I remember spending a good amount of time trying hard moves. The thing is, I don’t remember the bike moves as much as I remember watching Gary Brown trying to pull himself up a ten-foot rock a dozen times. On each attempt he flopped to the ground and yelped. Then he’d get up and do it again. That was funny.

    Another funny moment was Bobby’s abnormally slow descent down the 25-foot rock on Slickrock a few years ago. The steep, sandy slope with grabby sand at the bottom ate Bobby up. He couldn’t have gone any slower than he did. Why was he so heavy handed? We’ll never know. When he hit the bottom, he slowly toppled over his bars and landed on his shoulder/back in the sand. I’m laughing just thinking about it.

    Think about this. In all the years we’ve been doing FallMoab, Robert has joined us once. Robert TRYING to drag Bobby into the river ranks at the top of laughable FallMoab moments. That’s the power of QZ●, chiselchest.

    I’m looking forward to FallMoab 2008 (2009 for those of you on the fiscal calendar).

    Think about this. In all the years we’ve been doing FallMoab, Robert has joined us once. Robert TRYING to drag Bobby into the river ranks at the top of laughable FallMoab moments. That’s the power of QZ●, chiselchest.

    I’m looking forward to FallMoab 2008 (2009 for those of you on the fiscal calendar).


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: