today’s wtf moment, brought to you by Gillette

July 14, 2008

My bathroom at work is gross. I’ve described this in detail.

But today it was different from gross. Well, it was still gross. But in ADDITION to gross, today it was downright weird.

I enter the bathroom at my usual time (grist for another post), carrying my usual roll of personal TP (since the TP provided is like a big cheese wheel of high tensile strength rough sandpaper), and I head into the big stall (the little stall is so narrow, one can’t help but to bump elbows on the walls. I don’t like that.).

On the back of the toilet, which is in its usual decrepit condition, is a large stick of Gillette deodorant, Triple 3x Strength, with the manly “Storm Force” scent.

By the way, Gillette has what might be the worst website on the Internet. Try finding deodorants on it. Try navigating it for more than 10 seconds. I would have posted a picture of the deodorant in question, but I went crazy trying to find it on the Gillette site. Suffice to say, it’s the best a man can get.

Anyway. Storm Force on the back of the toilet. Lots of questions. Like, is Senator Craig nearby? Who grooms in this craphole of a bathroom? I mean, this is a bathroom in which, when you sit down, you don’t want your lowered pants to get all the way to the floor, because of what might be down there.

I do my business and head out to the sink. While I’m washing my hands and enjoying our whiz bang infrared detecting paper towel dispenser, a man enters the bathroom behind me, walks straight to the big stall, and then leaves, clutching the big stick of Gillette Triple 3x Strength Storm Force deodorant. No eye contact, no conversation.

I’m pretty sure I’m on a reality TV show, one where the producers create weirder and weirder situations around me until I crack. Well, I am strong. Bring on the dancing bears.

10 Responses to “today’s wtf moment, brought to you by Gillette”

  1. Grizzly Adam Says:

    I have my own personal bathroom in my office. Sometimes I spend half the work day in there.

  2. christa89 Says:

    😛

    Try submitting Gillette’s website to http://websitesthatsuck.com

  3. KanyonKris Says:

    No dancing bears. The “dug’s life” reality show people have done their homework. And since I’m your friend I’ll leak what they have in store, so instead of a freak-out they’ll get no entertaining reaction from you.

    On your next visit to the bathroom a man will enter, go into the stall and sit down to do his business. But he’ll leave the door open, set a bag of fast food on the floor, open it and begin eating.

    Can you steel your mind against this repulsive display? If not, you may want to try anti-nausea medication, or maybe something that makes you temporarily blind. Or just don’t “go” until you get home.

  4. Bikemike Says:

    at our old bike shop (we moved a year ago) we only had one toilet and when you flushed it, it would take (aprox.) 35 minutes for the bowl to fill up again. you never, ever went in right after someone else. i’m pretty sure this is where the term, “go piss up a rope”, came from. heaven forbid if it was poopies.

  5. Ricky Says:

    nice header on this post.

  6. mark Says:

    Grooming in the bathroom is one thing, but in the stall?

  7. Rob (Dug's brother) Says:

    KanyonKris, I understand they plan on having their guy gently lay a fry on Dug’s toe (we all know the kind of footwear he wears to work) and offer the remaining half of his hamburger from underneath the stall wall.

    We need to get a hidden camera in there for this one.
    On second thought, after reading about this particular location, that wouldn’t be such a cool thing.

  8. KanyonKris Says:

    Rob, I like your additional touches. When you punk someone you might as well go all the way.

    Yes, setting up the punking might be a problem. But I have this suspicion that the bathroom isn’t that bad. By dug’s description I’m expecting a bathroom you’d find at a truck stop along some lonely desert interstate after a drunk biker gang has just rolled through. It’s probably just fine. But I guess every bathroom pales in comparison to dug’s palatial, spotless, antiseptic, bidet-enthroned wonder at home.

  9. Razor blade Says:

    I agree with you about Gillette having the worst website on the internet. For one thing, they don’t have their contact details properly given on the site, and the product detail for female razors and re-fill cartridges in non-existent.

  10. UtRider Says:

    After my commute this morning I changed into my work clothes in the large stall (too much glass in my office) and yes, I did apply a bit of deodorant, though it wasn’t a Gillette brand. Somebody entered the bathroom while I was in the process of changing (yes – the stall door was closed so no, there wasn’t any eye contact) and must have been quite frightened as they left in a hurry without washing their hands. Speaking of which, what’s up with that? Why would you ever leave a bathroom without washing your hands? In addition to the automatic paper towl dispenser there should also be an automatic door so you aren’t forced to touch anything on your way out. Now that is gross.


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