tagging is dumb but leprosy sucks

July 22, 2008

Elden has agreed to forgive any and all favors I owe him if I answer a couple of stupid questions. In other words, we’ll be ALL SQUARE.

Since I owe Elden upwards of $2,000, a ride to the airport, a back rub, and a Petrarchen sonnet , I figure, hell, it’s just a couple of stupid questions. Plus I get to avoid leprosy. So bonus.

If you could have any one — and only one — bike in the world, what would it be? Whatever bike I’m riding right now. I mean, I’m not actually riding a bike this second, but I would have my Surly Karate Monkey. It’s dope.

Do you already have that coveted dream bike? If so, is it everything you hoped it would be? If not, are you working toward getting it? If you’re not working toward getting it, why not? Dude, this is FOUR questions. That’s not cool, man. The good news is, I DO own my dream bike. My Surly Karate Monkey. I’ll replace stuff on it as it breaks, probably with nicer stuff, but I really don’t want a different bike. See, I believe in wanting what you have, not having what you want. Isn’t that Zen? I’m so deep.

If you had to choose one — and only one — bike route to do every day for the rest of your life, what would it be, and why? What is up with sneaking in these extra questions? YOU are gonna end up owing ME when I’m done here.

I would choose Big Tibble. Why don’t we do Big Tibble more often? Why haven’t I done it this year? These are some of MY questions. Of course, Big Tibble isn’t the ride I would take everybody on, if I had to choose one ride. Most would hate it. I would take most people on Gooseberry Mesa.

Although, now that I think about it (and rather than edit what I’ve already written), Mr Toad’s Wild Ride at Lake Tahoe might be the best ride I’ve ever done. Can I get an Amen? That is one seriously awesome ride.

What kind of sick person would force another person to ride one and only one bike ride to to do for the rest of her / his life? Actually, this sounds a lot like something YOU would do. But you have no power in this regard, except for that imaginary little world inside your head where you are in charge. You have a little Napoleon in there, barking out orders nobody listens to. Like “You’re TAGGED, you MUST answer these questions!” Wait . . .

Do you ride both road and mountain bikes? If both, which do you prefer and why? If only one or the other, why are you so narrowminded? I ride both. I’m bi-curious. And that’s all I’m going to say about that.

Have you ever ridden a recumbent? If so, why? If not, describe the circumstances under which you would ride a recumbent. I have not. recumbents are to riding like tagging is to blogging. I would never ride a recumbent. I would rather ride a Segway.

Have you ever raced a triathlon? If so, have you also ever tried strangling yourself with dental floss? Yes to both. I don’t like to talk about either one.

Suppose you were forced to either give up ice cream or bicycles for the rest of your life. Which would you give up, and why? Because Ice Cream is NOT the same thing as Gelato, this question is easy. Ice Cream. If it were Gelato, I would give up both YOU as a friend, AND bicycles rather than Gelato. In short, I like Gelato.

What is a question you think this questionnaire should have asked, but has not? Also, answer it. Who will play you in the movie of your life story? I’ll answer for you–Stanley Tucci.

You’re riding your bike in the wilderness (if you’re a roadie, you’re on a road, but otherwise the surroundings are quite wilderness-like) and you see a bear. The bear sees you. What do you do? I run my fingers through his pooh.

Now, tag three biking bloggers. List them below. Seriously? You want me to TAG someone? Okay:

Arianna and her voice

Dwight Schrute

Whoever this is

Elden, we are now ALL SQUARE.


7 Responses to “tagging is dumb but leprosy sucks”

  1. Bob Says:

    I was going to write a Segway joke, but I couldn’t remember how to spell it (segue?), so I went with Vespa. Now I’m sad.

  2. bikemike Says:

    if i were to pick an actor to play Elden, i would pick Tracy Morgan from 30 Rock. that mans got range. second choice would be Ellen Degeneres.

  3. co Says:

    I like your answers. Especially the ones that slam tagging. And now you’re ALL SQUARE (on the debt issues) so it’s ALL OK!

  4. […] Note from Fatty: Thanks go out to Adam, Dug, Jill, Jim, and Bob, each of which has been wise enough to avoid leprosy and get in on the ground […]

  5. fish Says:

    Have you tried the gelato at Sette Bello downtown? The pizza, though different than other pizza joints, is pretty good. You know Brad works downtown, we should get together and go to Sette Bello one of these days. I’m just saying.

  6. dug Says:

    fish, setebello is AWESOME margherita pizza.

    their gelato is pedestrian at best.

    have you had the gelato at harmons, in draper? yum. not florence yum, but still yum.

    regardless, we should definitely eat with brad at settebello. do you work downtown? i had no idea. let’s eat at settebello.

  7. KanyonKris Says:

    Had some gelato at Dooners in Riverton. They make it fresh daily. Tasted good, but I’m no gelato connoisseur. http://www.doonersgrille.com/main/dooners-delights.html

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: