alpine is a friendly town

August 20, 2008

Alpine is a very hospitable place. Just ask my friend Gary, who lives there (for now).

The other day, he decided to ride his dirt bike up into the hills to his favorite “off the map” motocross track, to get a few dozen laps in.

Turns out, the closed and gated road leading to his track is the same closed road leading to the famous Sliding Rock natural water slide, a locale hugely popular with the teenage crowd in the heat of Summer.

On the long road leading to the track, Gary passed a teenage girl clearly heading up to the Rock. This was unusual, since the teenagers usually traveled in packs, and as it was a very hot day (approaching 100 degrees), and she still had a good mile to go, and since the road to the track passed right by the Rock, he swung around and offered her a ride up. Without hesitation she said “Sure!” and immediately and expertly swung herself, in her swimsuit and coverup and flip flops, up onto the YZ and behind Gary.

And promptly laced both arms around his waist, pressed forward, and snuggled her face right up into his neck.

Gary, happily married father of 3 boys, had two conflicting thoughts:

Thought One: “Yeah baby, I’ve still got the mojo! And Alpine girls are FRIENDLY.”

Thought Two: “OMG, if this was MY daughter, I would SO kill her for doing this.”

And he set off for the brief ride to the Rock.

When he pulled into the trailhead for Sliding Rock, Gary noticed two motorcycles IDENTICAL to the white and blue Yamaha YZ he was riding, parked neatly to the side. Apparently the willowy teenager behind him on the bike noticed them too, because she dramatically and forcefully yanked herself OFF of his neck and back, and almost knocked herself off the back of the bike, still traveling about 25mph.

Gary swung to a stop, whereupon the girl leapt from the bike, and ran up the trail to the water slide, not speaking, not looking back, and definitely NOT thanking him for the ride.

Which is when Gary realized he was dressed in full off-road motocross gear, from head to foot, including helmet and goggles. He looked like a stormtrooper. Remember how ALL stormtroopers look EXACTLY THE SAME?

Yeah, she didn’t either.


15 Responses to “alpine is a friendly town”

  1. KanyonKris Says:

    Was Gary wearing a hook over one hand? That would have vaulted the story into Alpine lore.

    BTW, what’s with access to Sliding Rock? For the Fatty Tri the gate was open and lots of people were up there enjoying the place. But twice I’ve been up there on my road bike and found a huge metal gate (seriously, that thing could be used at a prison) blocking the way with dire “no trespassing” and other warnings. Is there a public access through there? Is it some uneasy private property but sometimes they allow people through thing? Please tell.

  2. Mocougfan Says:

    Hellarious. As a father of 3 daughters I would have chewed her out but good. Probably would have called her parents as well.

  3. Hamish A Says:

    Poor Gary, that’ll put paid to his thoughts of still having a fully functioning Mojo.

  4. Rick S. Says:

    I’ve seen a guy just like Gary riding around the high school giving girls rides.

  5. Bikemike Says:

    Gary got his mojo on the moto, yeah, baby!

  6. Bob Says:

    Gary has a known history of getting into trouble when he gives girls a ride on the back of his motorcycle.

  7. Sleepy Says:

    Awesome! How come things like that don’t happen to me?

  8. jruss Says:

    Completely unrelated, but –
    “I’M louis baker, and so’s my wife.”
    Absolutely brilliant.
    “We’re here to let Brian go…”

  9. dug Says:

    john, are we the only ones who love that movie? give me brian any day over that stinky grail. top five of all time. “Follow the Shoe!”

  10. Dan K Says:

    Absolutely hilarious! I check in here often, this is my favorite post yet!!

  11. josh Says:

    HAHAHAH!!! same thing happens when you drive a pimp car and the girl finds out it’s not

  12. The Flyin' Ute Says:

    That WAS my daughter and I’d like to have a talk!!!

  13. dug Says:

    well mike, i guess you know better than anyone where to find her then, right?

  14. Bander Says:

    The big scary gate at the end of the road opens up onto private land, and part of the road behind it has been torn out to make pasture. There is a smaller orange gate about 1/4 mile back down the road next to where the stream crosses that you can use to access the area. The orange gate is usually closed to vehicles, but there is an opening to let pedestrians and bikes through. The area up the canyon there is part private land and part owned by developers that hope to build a subdivision. I know this because my parents live next to the big scary gate. But they don’t know who the motorcycle girl was.

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