alpine is a friendly town
August 20, 2008
Alpine is a very hospitable place. Just ask my friend Gary, who lives there (for now).
The other day, he decided to ride his dirt bike up into the hills to his favorite “off the map” motocross track, to get a few dozen laps in.
Turns out, the closed and gated road leading to his track is the same closed road leading to the famous Sliding Rock natural water slide, a locale hugely popular with the teenage crowd in the heat of Summer.
On the long road leading to the track, Gary passed a teenage girl clearly heading up to the Rock. This was unusual, since the teenagers usually traveled in packs, and as it was a very hot day (approaching 100 degrees), and she still had a good mile to go, and since the road to the track passed right by the Rock, he swung around and offered her a ride up. Without hesitation she said “Sure!” and immediately and expertly swung herself, in her swimsuit and coverup and flip flops, up onto the YZ and behind Gary.
And promptly laced both arms around his waist, pressed forward, and snuggled her face right up into his neck.
Gary, happily married father of 3 boys, had two conflicting thoughts:
Thought One: “Yeah baby, I’ve still got the mojo! And Alpine girls are FRIENDLY.”
Thought Two: “OMG, if this was MY daughter, I would SO kill her for doing this.”
And he set off for the brief ride to the Rock.
When he pulled into the trailhead for Sliding Rock, Gary noticed two motorcycles IDENTICAL to the white and blue Yamaha YZ he was riding, parked neatly to the side. Apparently the willowy teenager behind him on the bike noticed them too, because she dramatically and forcefully yanked herself OFF of his neck and back, and almost knocked herself off the back of the bike, still traveling about 25mph.
Gary swung to a stop, whereupon the girl leapt from the bike, and ran up the trail to the water slide, not speaking, not looking back, and definitely NOT thanking him for the ride.
Which is when Gary realized he was dressed in full off-road motocross gear, from head to foot, including helmet and goggles. He looked like a stormtrooper. Remember how ALL stormtroopers look EXACTLY THE SAME?
Yeah, she didn’t either.