as i lay dying

August 27, 2008

I have been loving riding the motorcycle to work every day, and I’m saving buckets of cash on gas, but I think I may have contracted leprosy. It’s possible I’m mistaken, I’m not a leprosy expert. Truth is, I’ve never even looked leprosy up, not even in Wikipedia.

But I’m still concerned.

Lemme esplain. No, there is too much, lemme sum up. In the heat of the summer, I tend to wear shorts, flip flops, and t-shirts to work. Which means that’s what I wear on the motorcycle. Whatever, don’t you judge me.

Well, on a crowded freeway, in between big concrete barriers, a bit of a wind tunnel effect can form and whip up debris on the road. Or, sometimes you get behind a big dump truck, and they may be driving without the load properly tied down, like Daphne Zuniga in The Sure Thing.

Anyway, stuff on the road is moving, some of it hits you. Like, in the toes and stuff. At 80mph, stuff hurts. But, and here’s the kicker, NOT RIGHT AWAY.

That is, I FEEL the impact on my toe from, say, a small freeway UFO, but it doesn’t hurt, it just FEELS. As if you nudged me on my shoe, and my toe knows because my whole foot got nudged. Am I babbling here? I’m babbling aren’t I?

But when I FEEL that impact on my bare toe, I can tell from the magnitude of the impact what’s gonna happen next. If the impact was mild, I know I’ll feel a bit of a tingle in a second or two.

If the impact was significant, I have to brace myself, because in a second or two, I’m gonna feel like my toe was just attacked by piranhas.

Here’s the thing: I don’t care that it HURTS–I’ve chosen to ride my motorcycle on the freeway in shorts and flip flops. My bad. It’s the DELAY between impact and pain that worries me. WHY the delay? Are my nerves slowing down? Are they protecting me, worried that I won’t be able to handle the pain? Am I just old (and is this part of Manopause)? Does everybody have this delay between impact and pain?

OR. OR. Or do I have leprosy?

I think I have a fever too.


9 Responses to “as i lay dying”

  1. BotchedExperiment Says:

    Not leprosy, just neural degeneration. At first it’s really going to bum you out, but in a few years you won’t care. Not at all. In fact, you won’t care about anything, which is nice because then you won’t realize that you occasionally eat your feces. So at least you’ll have that going for you.

  2. KanyonKris Says:

    Botched: We can always count on you for comfort.

    Is there something about motorcycle riding that’s slowing down the pain response? Perhaps you should investigate by whacking your toe with a hammer. I don’t think my pain response is any slower and I’m close to your age, but then I’m unwilling to whack my toe with a hammer to find out so you’ll have to wait until I have an unplanned injury, with should occur in 16.3 minutes, give my age increased clumsiness, but that’s another topic. Was that a run-on sentence?

  3. teach5 Says:

    I think your nerve endings are overstimulated from the wind of riding and it just takes a minute or so for any other stimulus to register. I used to hate how the hair on my arms BUZZED for hours after riding.

  4. bikemike Says:

    leprosy, i do not thin dis word means what you thin dis word means.

    actually it sounds more like neurofibramatosis or a summer cold. pebbles do carry germs, you know, and some germs probably have nerve damage so they pass it on.

  5. Rick S. Says:

    Yep. You’re old. Have a donut. It doesn’t matter anymore.

  6. Bob Says:

    It’s probably consumption. Are you coughing into a handkerchief?

  7. steve Says:

    I’m with Rick S. on this one. Give up the bike you old fart and give it to your just older brother who has had several donuts too many. And, I didn’t know pebbles carried nerve dam$a#ge? Sorry, couldn’t feel my fingers for a second there.

  8. Jeff Says:

    You can wear shorts and flip-flops to work? I’m jealous.

  9. aa Says:

    Nope, you’re not diseased. It’s just that you’ve got an adreniline rush. Honestly, you’re going 80km an hour on the freeway, and you’re excited, most people would be. At the time you’re hit, its really not that big of a deal. It’s like touching something hot, jerking your hand away and 10 seconds later going OW! that was hot. I won’t go into great detail, but open a bio12 textbook and you’ll learn all about your nervous system.

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