don’t show THIS to the investors

September 2, 2008

Okay, so I really do like my job, and this is a very pleasant place to work, generally.

But seriously. The owner is a multi-millionaire. The principle officers come from Fortune 5o0 companies, and as far as I know, also use the facilities here.

And I understand a commitment to fiscal responsibility, a desire to show good, clean books to potential investors. Sure.

But it’s not just the bathroom anymore. I don’t use the break room much, except to get Diet Coke out of the vending machine. This morning I needed to put something in the fridge, which I usually don’t do.

I have never seen anything like this. EVER. And I’ve spent considerable time living in third world countries, in towns with no paved roads, in houses with no refrigeration at all. So how do you explain THIS:

fridge one

I’ve also spent time at other, similarly sized companies (closing in on 10 million in annual sales, 30 plus employees). I was in charge at my previous place of employment, and I can tell you, while we didn’t win any awards, we never had to carry loaded firearms when we opened the fridge, in case raccoons or BEARS were living there.

One more time:

fridge two

That’s the break room refrigerator where I work.

I give. I will now boil my own head. And leave it in the fridge, for Buffalo Bill to find.


23 Responses to “don’t show THIS to the investors”

  1. chtrich Says:

    perhaps a cleaning service should be hired.

  2. dug Says:

    chtrich, ya think? or a hazmat team. oh the humanity.

  3. Jen Says:

    It would be wrong to expect someone to clean that. It should be thrown away and replaced with something new! I want to know who still puts their stuff in that thing?

  4. KanyonKris Says:

    I’m guessing the item you put in the fridge is the sushi. Dude, that packaging is not NEARLY tight enough to keep out the roving microbial hordes. At a minimum you need hermetically sealed. Since you probably don’t have a heat sealer, at least tape the seams. I don’t want to see you listed as the victim in medical journals under the heading “new plague discovered”.

    And thank you for the photos. The wide shot was bad enough, but the close-up – was that really necessary? I hope my appetite comes back by noon, but it’s doubtful. If I don’t hear from you after 6 PM, I’ll alert the HAZMAT team and send them your photos so they know what they’re up against. Ever see the old SciFi horro movie “The Blob”? I believe that’s what HAZMAT will be fighting.

    Escape now, dug, while you can. Take a sick day – I know I could just from viewing the photos.

  5. BotchedExperiment Says:


    Tradgedy of the commons.

    Find the person that left that in there, and you’ll find the same person that leaves the toilet clogged, pisses on the seat, doesn’t refill the TP, and drinks/uses all the (coffee/sugar/pens/staples/paper/etc.) without refilling it.

  6. b_banks Says:

    I have no words to describe how I feel right now. I agree with Jen, that thing just needs to be thrown out and replaced. It is beyond help; decontamination isn’t even a possibility. You could put that thing on the sidewalk with a sign that said “free” on it and it would never get picked up. I don’t know if i wanna know the answer but what the hell is all that shit?

  7. michele Says:

    So did you put something in THERE? or decide against it?

    We know you still use the facilities…

  8. Ricky Says:

    Ah, this is the classic trade-off between small and large companies. The small companies have little to no policies in place to govern the way things get done, what’s stored in the fridge, what people have on their cube walls, and on and on. This is why we like them. They don’t let process get in the way of work.

    On the other hand, large companies go overboard with policies and procedures. Here at the 4th largest software company in the world we have policies for everything. One I like is that items are tossed from the break room refrigerator Friday nights at 10:00pm. Many employees have lost tupperware, unopened pop cans, water, and other items. These people hate the fridge policy. One of the executive-level VPs is currently inking the policy for motorcycle parking at the new building. Oh there’s a designated area for motorcycles. With the accompanying policy, we will all know where it is, what can park there, how long it can park there, and a lot more lame details about motorcycle parking. I’m sure the company-wide pdf will be out soon and properly posted on the intranet. I don’t like that so much.

    Take your camera to the house of the person who left the rice and beans in the break room fridge. There, thriving on last year’s leftovers, you might find a cure for a variety of pesky diseases.

  9. KanyonKris Says:

    … or a new disease!

  10. Bikemike Says:

    since you didn’t take my advice on the dynamite, i now offer (because you obviously work with brilliant but socially inept 3 year olds) the use of my post gulf war flamethrower.

  11. Anonymous Says:

    That’s nothing you couldn’t take care of with a little stool and a bag of tortilla chips…

  12. JB Says:

    Wow! That is science gone bad right there. I laughed and giggled looking at that like you did when you were a little kid seeing something gross for the first time. I am with Jen, wheel that whole appliance to the landfil (even they might reject it) and start over. I would also start seriously start evaluating the people who you share your work space with……someone has issues.

  13. KanyonKris Says:

    dug, the picture of your work environment becomes more clear with each of these posts. What you need is your own self-contained work environment. Your co-workers will mock you, but you’ll be healthy and happy. They will call you Bubble Dug.

  14. Uphill Battle Says:

    dug, thanks, I’ve been meaning to lose a few pounds. That should just about spoil my appetite for quite some time.

  15. Drew Says:

    dug, at least we know you have culture!

  16. steve Says:

    Wow! I work at a large company and the fridge seems to smell ok. No views of the labrea tar pits or ill advised spills. Those large co. policies seem to have their place. I do miss Jean fridays but I will ever be grateful that I will not have to go to work fearing the NEW(insert name here) plague. Maybe we should have lunch at MY work dug, you can use the facilities while you are here. No plunger in sight. So far, the toilet has managed to stay lint free.

  17. steve Says:

    Has anyone sent any anonymous photos to these multi-millionaires expressing any disgust or hope for redemption, asking for vaccinations. It is quite possible these same people KNOW they don’t want to see the toilet or fridge and purposely eat out, and subsequently use THOSE facilities, every day. Perhaps a flyer campaign with appropriate video or pictures.

  18. steve Says:

    Sorry, couldn’t sleep anyway, just can’t help myself from posting, and more posting, maybe even more posting, maybe a beehive will grow from your fridge. That seemed funny at 12:48 am.

  19. Bob Says:

    Buffalo Bill’s real name is Jame Gumb.

  20. Elden Says:

    someone should watch the content of that fridge.

  21. tonks Says:

    That is incredibly disgusting.

    I’m voting for the Bubble Dug plan. Fork over some bucks for a mini-fridge, buy your own Diet Coke on the cheap, and stay away from that break room.

    You could even charge rental space within your own CLEAN, personal mini-fridge, and within a year or two, save up enough to buy a REAL (read: bacteria, microbe, AND fungus free) fridge.

  22. Kathy Says:

    Don’t act like you didn’t have a refrigerator in college that looked the same way. My daughter (currently a college freshman) would keep using that fridge in its current state if she could continue to avoid having to clean it. Any college students work with you? Interns?

  23. Focker Says:

    Place a filter in that fridge.

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