you say potato
September 15, 2008
I have been known to act without regard to consequences.
Actually, I guess I was mostly known for that after the fact.
First, at the farm. My parents were born and raised in southern Alberta, Canada, my dad on a farm, my mom in “town.” Well, that farm is still there, and when I was growing up in Minneapolis, we would make a trek every Summer to the farm. 8 kids in a station wagon, two days of driving across Minnesota, North Dakota, Montana, and Alberta, to Magrath, to see relatives and hang out on the farm, driving tractors, riding horses, branding cows, castrating calves (really), and shooting guns. At gophers. With hollow point shells. I know, barbaric. I’m so sorry.
Well, one afternoon, everyone had gone off on the horses, and I was left alone at the barn, not sure why. I was maybe 8 years old. All the sack lunches were in the truck, and I got bored and started rummaging. Each sack lunch had maybe five cookies, not oreos, but some other kind of Canadian sandwich cookie, creamy inside, crunchy outside. I took every cookie, ate the cream out of them, and discarded the cookie portion. Who would ever know, since I was EATING the evidence?
Of course, as the rest of the family approached on the horses, I realized with horror that I had discarded the cookie portion of the cookies, ALL OVER THE GROUND AROUND ME.
Later I had a paper route, which I hated. HATED. And at some point, the paper company started adding supplements to the paper, but those supplements had to be added one at a time to each paper, by the paper boy. ME, who already hated my paper route.
Well, it was Minnesota, in Winter. Lots of snow drifts.
We all picked up our papers daily from the same house, the house of one of the paperboys, who had signed up to be the distributor, or MASTER paperboy. When I arrived to pick up my papers, I sometimes refused to take the supplements, and he always threatened to call the supervisor and get me fired. I’m not sure why I didn’t take him up on his offer. I hated him almost as much as I hated my paper route.
But instead, I would sometimes take my pile of supplements, and when everybody was busy, I would bury them in the huge Minnesota snow drifts at the end of the driveway.
Winter doesn’t last forever, even in Minnesota. Come Spring, I lost that paper route after all.
Maybe “without regard to consequences” is just another way of saying “dumb as a post.” Ya think?