today’s WTF moment, brought to you by the non-profit movie theater business

October 8, 2008

So I went to see Bill Maher’s new movie, Religulous, at the Jordan Commons Megaplex.

Ha,just kidding, Larry Miller would never let his holy theater show an anti-religion screed like Religulous. Although, on other occasions, I have seen at the Larry Miller Megaplexes such moral, upstanding, and Christian-Value laden films as Doomsday, Rambo IV (I know, I know), The Crying Game, There’s Something About Mary, Pulp Fiction, Kill Bill . . . you get the picture. Right?

Anyway, no, of course I didn’t see it at the megaplex. I saw it at the Broadway, which is sort of the artsy, non-profit theater in Salt Lake City, where you see this kind of movie with the rest of the pinko commie liberals.

But I’m not here to talk about the movie (except to say, it’s very funny), but to talk, of course, about the movie theater BATHROOM.

See for yourself:

3 urinals broadway

Wait, let’s take a closer look at the signs on the wall above those fancy urinals:

flooding urinal sign broadway

I’m torn–on the one hand, I have long been tempted to post signs in my work bathroom with instructions on how to pee, how to poo, how to (and how often to) flush, how to clean up after yourself.

On the other hand, this is a movie theater bathroom. And they haven’t just left notes telling us HOW to use the bathroom, but for how LONG to do it. Here’s a rule of thumb–if your instructions clearly indicate that the required action will take longer than 3 seconds, how many members of the movie-going public do you think will follow them? Remember, these are the same people who use cell phones during movies, talk using their outdoor voices during quiet scenes, kick the back of your chair, and leave milk duds on the floor.

And really, you’re saying that if we don’t follow your instructions for how to use your defective urinals, the bathroom will be FLOODED? Maybe instead you could just leave some loaner waders on a hook by the door.

Or just put in a port-a-potty and save us all the trouble.


5 Responses to “today’s WTF moment, brought to you by the non-profit movie theater business”

  1. steve Says:

    Maybe you should donate some money to this pinko commie liberal place and earmark (one word or two?) it for new toilets that don’t require timing elements?! You do seem to attract bad bathrooms.

  2. Rob Says:

    So basically the sign should read;

    “Attention all 14-yr olds who’s moms left them at the movie theatre: If you want to see something cool, repeatedly flush the toilets until the water does not stop.”

  3. Rick S. Says:

    So did you end up peeing in your empty 44oz soda cup instead?

  4. Drew Says:

    Hmmm, is it my screen or were there yellowish and greenish stains on that sign? And if so, how does one make green urine?

  5. BotchedExperiment Says:

    Trust me, taking a piss in that bathroom is way better than it used to be. See those round metal discs on the wall right above the urinals?

    A few years ago those covers weren’t there and instead there were open holes into the wall. Emanating from the holes at a steady breeze was a foul sewer/mildew/swamp-gas funkyness that threatened to overcome you before you could empty your bladder. Except dug of course; he wouldn’t be standing there that long, but personally, I’d have to try to hold my breath while I was pissing.

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