not exactly handy

November 4, 2008

I am not what you’d call a do-it-yourselfer. Not a fix-it guy. I can barely be trusted with a screwdriver, much less a saw.

I once installed a ceiling fan. It took me 6 hours.

In our relatively new house (3.5 years), recently the back door knob started getting wobbly so that it won’t always lock. But it SOMETIMES locks, which passes for good enough.

And then the door handle into the garage began having issues. The little doohicky that retracts when you turn the knob stopped retracting. Such that the door then won’t open.

Here’s the Anderson solution:

door tape

See? I can still lock the door with the deadbolt, so we’re good even though the handle won’t retract the doohicky.

I have to replace the tape every couple of days, because it stretches, and the doohicky pokes through the tape, keeping the door from opening. If I’m INSIDE when that happens, I just grab a butter knife and slip it in the door crack and open it.

If I’m OUTSIDE when it happens, I have to grab the door key from a secret shoe in the shoe bin, and go around to the front door to get in.

We’ve been living this way for a month now.

Kim is a saint. Although, to be fair, she knows where the toolbox is too.

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19 Responses to “not exactly handy”

  1. chtrich Says:

    I love my handy wife who fixes things for me!

  2. bikemike Says:

    is there ANYTHING that duct tape can’t do?
    i’ll bet you could even make a knife out of duct tape to open the duct taped lock.
    you could probably make a handle out of it easier and cheaper than buying a new one.

    better just call Joe Locksmith and be done with it though.

  3. Bander Says:

    I need to show this to my wife, it’ll make her more appreciative of me.

  4. dug Says:

    bander, glad i could help. my motto: lowering the bar for everyone.

  5. BotchedExperiment Says:

    You can bet that even if you did go around fixing everything around the house that could possibly even need optimizing, you’ll get zero credit for it when you eventually have the ‘you don’t help me enough’ conversation with your wife.

  6. KanyonKris Says:

    dug, thank you. Too many guys out there RAISING the bar and I don’t appreciate that. You’re like the guy throwing himself on a grenade to save the platoon. To show my gratitude, if I’m ever at your house I’ll fix that door handle. But it sounds like something is broken inside and it’s usually better to buy a new one than try to fix it. So I’d even install a new one for you. Yes, I am that moved by your self-sacrifice. The world of men needs more guys like you, and less Meterosexuals – the ultimate bar raisers who threaten the traditional manly way of life.

  7. JB Says:

    Duct tape on the door, this is sad. The way you are going here your nice, pretty new, house will soon be the neighborhood slum house where the “crazy” people live.
    Go to your local hardware store (not the Lowahomadepotmegastore!), find the old dude in the back who knows it all, give him your lock and he will fix you up!

  8. Rick S. Says:

    dug- i replaced the door knob on our garage door earlier this year. It is my pride and joy and I make sure Rachelle notices it every time she uses it.

  9. KanyonKris Says:

    As usual, Rick has the angle. I could hide in the garage and talk you through it while your family watches. Wait, but what about the next thing that needs fixing? This could be a slippery slope. Proceed carefully.

  10. jruss Says:

    If the women don’t find you handsome, at least they’ll find you handy. Wait. What?

  11. Drew Says:

    Dug, replacing a door lock is about the easiest thing you can do around the house. Takes about 10 minutes. Of course, you need to know if you have a left hand door or a right hand door, but once you have the lock it takes no time at all to replace.

  12. mark Says:

    Dug, since I’m gone Monday through Friday and not around to fix stuff, my wife had to replace a doorknob on the baby’s room (door wouldn’t open and baby had just woken from nap; wife entered through window to get baby out of crib) in my absence. She did it by HERself with pretty much no instruction from me.

  13. Uphill Battle Says:

    Are you sure you didn’t take a picture of my side door?

  14. sleepy Says:

    Dug did manage to replace the “doohicky” in the garage door today. Please be sure to tell him how proud you are of him. I was a little nervous handing over the door fixture to him today, but after looking over it closely I noticed it would be impossible to screw up.

  15. KanyonKris Says:

    Good job, dug! You’ll get that Home Repairs merit badge soon!

  16. Mocougfan Says:

    Stop messing around Dug. Use 3 pieces of D Tape. Then you won’t have to worry about it stretching.

  17. BurkeInTheOzarks Says:

    Don’t fix it yourself! Once you get labeled a “fixer” the list never stops growing.

    Oh, I just read through the comments to where you fixed it. You’re screwed.

  18. steve Says:

    you are now toast!!!!!

  19. Brandon S. Says:

    A little bicycle chain lube on the inside should do the trick.


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