everything is bigger in here
November 19, 2008
FYI, and in a bit of shameless self-promotion, I have a guest post up over at Elden’s site. www.fatcyclist.com. Over there. Go ahead, read it. I’ll wait.
An old friend stumbled across this blog last week and left a comment, and, though I know she won’t be exactly excited that this is the post inspired by her memory, this post is inspired by her memory.
Because when Valene and I worked together over a decade ago on the documentation team at a large software company in Orem, UT, our team was housed in the basement. Now, I don’t mean to impugn the character of said software company–the offices were plush, 4 star resorts compared to what I’ve got today. We had nice multi-occupancy restrooms in the lobby of each floor, and the far ends of each floor sported a “one-hole” or “lockable” single occupancy bathroom.
And the we had a janitorial staff that visited EVERY NIGHT. Oh, those were halcyon days.
Anyway, the one-hole at OUR end of the floor was special. The overhead fluorescent light resembled the light in the opening office scenes of Joe Vs the Volcano.
But in a totally opposite good way. See, the light was weird and flickery and distorted objects like a funhouse mirror. There should have been a sign on the bathroom door: Warning, Objects In This Bathroom Are Not As Large As They Appear.
That’s right–the light in this bathroom made everything in it seem twice as big as it really was. EVERYTHING.
I used that bathroom every day. You remember how in Soapdish, Sally Field would go to the mall when she needed a bit of a “boost?” This bathroom was my mall.
Although, you had to be careful. Like, let’s say you were sitting, and stood up and turned around, for whatever reason (go with me on this). Let’s say you caught sight, just for a second as you turned around, of your ass in the mirror.
Remember? TWICE as big.
But still totally worth it.