really? REALLY?

November 21, 2008

So I’m sitting in my double-wide cubicle this week and I notice the CFO and the VP of Engineering opening the cleaning supply closet down the hall a bit. I’ve never actually seen the inside of this closet, plus, who wouldn’t be intrigued by such rarefied company getting into the cleaning closet?

Gold mine.

I can now explain how I can leave a sunflower seed shell in the middle of my double-wide, and still find it there a week later. And yes, I have indeed conducted this experiment using a variety of objects.

This must be the reason:

vacuum three

Or, well, it could be this:

vacuum one 

Or, I guess, the best of the bunch:

vacuum two

It’s like the droid graveyard junk shop in The Empire Strikes Back. Help me Wall E. You’re my only hope.

Oh, and I’m sure you’ve been just dying for an update on the status of our fridge/petri dish experiment. How long has it been now? TWO AND A HALF MONTHS! Well, here’s where we are today:

fridge update one

Yup, people are just putting their tupperware right on the puss. RIGHT ON IT.

Let’s see that up close:

fridge update two

Maybe it’s a Rorshach test. I see boobs. What do you see?

We’re gonna need a bigger boat.

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21 Responses to “really? REALLY?”

  1. steve Says:

    I see the lava lake from the incredibles with the machine coming back out! I think I just gagged into my mouth. Could you get a culture and get that tested? The CDC might be able to use that as a cure for the common appetite. How do people eat after opening that, especially the idiots leaving their stuff on top of it?

  2. Jeff Says:

    Sweet merciful crap!

    Did someone barf in that fridge? I would just keep my lunch in a cooler if the fridge where I work looked like that.

  3. BotchedExperiment Says:

    I have a fourth vacuum you can put in that closet. It’ll save me a trip to the dump.

  4. mark Says:

    Next spring when I start dieting for cycling season again, I’m putting a picture of your fridge on my fridge. Then, when I go to the fridge for food, instead of eating, I can just throw up a little in my mouth and swallow it back down. I think I could go several days with nothing more than diet coke and gag reflex.

  5. KanyonKris Says:

    It seems the point of keeping the 3 vacuums is just to be able to answer “yes, we have a vacuum”. I’d guess they were headed for D.I. or the dumpster but got diverted to your office instead.

    As I scrolled down and saw the first picture of the fridge I was repulsed and thought “please don’t show that close up”. But you did. Thanks.

    As for the Rorschach test, I see the apocalypse. I’m sure I see the four horsemen in there. And hellfire. And heaps of dead bodies, like the black plague.

    If that fridge begins the extinction of the human race, I’m blaming you for not alerting the authorities. There still may be time to kill that monster before it grows too strong.

    Soylent Fridge kills people!

  6. bikemike Says:

    do the monkeys you work with (and for) fling poo at one another.

    good God man, three year old babies clean up after themselves better than that.

    just like this country, you need to start a revolution.

  7. BurkeInTheOzarks Says:

    HOLY CRAPSTICKS!!! What kind of ingrates work with you? Does everyone just pretend this plague-in-the-making doesn’t exist? I think it’s time to call in the Center for Disease Control. And possibly the Homeland Security gang since that will soon qualify as a WMD.

  8. Jonnie Says:

    Holy Hell. I am calling Joe Rogan to see if they want to revive Fear Factor and hold the “gross eating” segment in your company kitchen.

  9. steve Says:

    AAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHH! and @@#$@!@#$%$%$#@%^%$^$@#@# just for good measure. Get out before it consumes the place!! Thank goodness you only go in there to gross the rest of us out.

  10. Eber Says:

    holy poo sludge!

    i know i work just two blocks from you, but I swear you work in a third world country.

    where the hell is the UN?

  11. Eber Says:

    damn it. i just scrolled back up!

  12. Steve Says:

    i see barf on my keyboard.

  13. Rick S. Says:

    I’d eat those carrots.

  14. SteveA Says:

    The UN just spent 23 million on a neat new ceiling and can’t afford to help right now. Try HazMat. Homeland Security. Anyone. Someone save Dug and everyone in the building except the crazy HR lady. Wait, didn’t she lock the breakroom door for awhile?

  15. SteveA Says:

    Rick S. that is just gross. The carrots are only one level from death defying. They would have to be at least one more shelf up for semi-safe consumption.


  16. A vacuum boneyard and a hazmat sight at work? Two for one. Too bad both of them suck. Strike that. According to the sunflower seed, only one of them sucks.

  17. tonks Says:

    I’m with Mark. Thanks for the diet fodder for after the holidays, and thanks for being kind enough to not post this the day before Thanksgiving.

    Too bad Kim’s been released…it woulda made a great service project for the YW.

  18. forgingahead Says:

    Totally disgusting! Geez, what is the *matter* with these people? (and I use the term *people* loosely).

  19. Geoff Says:

    Maybe you should hang a note above the fridge and sign it, “Disappointed.”

  20. VaLene Says:

    Maybe all the employees should start a donation jar – see how big it grows, and whoever has the guts to clean it takes the cash.


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