November 26, 2008
When I was a kid, I loved candy more than anything in the world. M&Ms. Twizzler Bites. Starburst. Reeses Peanut Butter Cups. Butterfingers.
I’m different now. Because now I don’t keep candy under my pillow.
But when I was a kid, well, I DID keep candy under my pillow. I would buy or scrounge a one pound bag of M&Ms and dump them, yes, under my pillow. I would buy a big bag of Starburst, unwrap each individual piece and dump them, yes, under my pillow. Same for Twizzler Bites. NOT the same for the peanut butter cups or butterfingers. That would be gross.
During the night, I would wake up at regular intervals, munch a bit, and go blissfully back to sleep, and dream of Willy Wonka.
Sometimes the M&Ms would slide down from under my pillow and end up under me in melted circles. I can only imagine how puzzled my mom would be by the weird green, red, and yellow rings on my blankets and sheets. We never talked about it. Now that I’m a parent I can understand why that’s a conversation you’d never want to have.
Of course, as an adult, I would NEVER put candy under my pillow. For one, Kim has bionic ears and she would notice the crunching. For crying out loud, when I go downstairs to eat Reeses Puffs at two in the morning, she can hear THAT from upstairs in bed.
Because, that’s what I do now that I’m all growed up–I get up at 2 am, almost every night, wander downstairs, and eat a bowl of whatever yummy cereal we have in the cupboard. Preferably Reeses Puffs, because that’s like eating little peanut butter cups in milk.
If there are cookies in the kitchen, well, they won’t be there in the morning. The kids have started complaining about it. “Hey mom, make sure dad doesn’t eat all of these tonight.” Ha. Like that’s gonna protect the cookies.
This is where I do it:
I stand at the far end of the kitchen bar, eat my cereal, and read my Economist.
It’s a little bit of ME time.
Oh, and for those of you living in the houses up the hill from that window, um, sorry. I’ll try to be less naked in the future.