ball and stick sports r us

December 1, 2008

I played in two turkey bowl type football games over the long weekend, one with a bunch of neighborhood guys, and one with the family. I racked up some pretty impressive stats:

Groins Pulled: Both of them

Stairs Made Desperately Uncomfortable: All of them

Muscles Sore: Half of them. But which half keeps alternating.

Interceptions Thrown: About 1,000

Interceptions Thrown and Returned for Touchdowns: About 900

Fumbles Lost: At least a dozen

Passes Dropped: Almost all of them

Rushing Yards: Zero

Times Sacked In a Two Handed Touch, “Who Cares” Football Game: Lots

And this was one of my better showings. I give new meaning to the term “Picked Last.


11 Responses to “ball and stick sports r us”

  1. bikemike Says:

    yeah that’s why i play in two-handed-touch-above-the-waist-only women’s league.

  2. Jeff Says:

    Well, that makes me feel better about myself. Just don’t ask me about my pick-up basketball game stats.

  3. I gave up the turkey bowl games after I dislocated my knee simply trying to block someone. Turkey Bowl retirement has been good to me since.

  4. VH1 Says:

    I don’t know what was funnier you getting sacked after 8 alligator or my fat lip from trying to catch a pass over the shoulder. We are turning into old men!

  5. bikemike Says:

    is alligator the new mississippi?

  6. BurkeInTheOzarks Says:

    Yeah, we gave up on the turkey bowl games after they started including the obligatory third half – the hospital visit. For some reason, “touch” always turned into “shove to the ground” or “touch while falling” which was basically a tackle.

  7. steveA Says:

    We played 4 mississippi in the family game. He was sacked often then too. I threw almost as many INT as Dug and we both got called Max Hall by our lovely nieces. luv them. Best of all, no hospital visits.

    bikemike, how do we get invited to play in your league?

  8. Mocougfan Says:

    I can walk up the stairs with out wincing for the first time today. I can’t give it up yet tho. Still love to play with everyone. Tho my wife makes fun of me after I get home.

    We bring flags. It’s always ends up being tackle and then pull the flag.

  9. Kathleen Says:

    tough tough day…way to gut through it.

    better imbibe in a painkiller or two…

  10. KanyonKris Says:

    So, dug, this was a good year.

  11. fish Says:

    Just be glad you didn’t play against Flyin’ Ute and his clan.

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