forget the degradation of language, think about the SHOES

December 9, 2008

You know how people (the FRENCH) get whacked out over the decline or distortion or corruption of language, as if there used to be a time when everybody spoke the King’s English properly, and if we could just get back to that time, well, um, I guess then everybody would speak the King’s English properly again. So we’d have that going for us. Which is nice.

Like last week, I was listening to Talk of the Nation, and they were talking about the abomination that is “texting language” only the author of a new book was defending this new language and saying we should all relax.

So I relaxed.

But then yesterday, before church, Ian took my shoes.

He’s 13 and growing fast, and we can’t seem to keep up with his shoe size, so since I have a few pair of decent black “church worthy” shoes, I told him he could wear some of mine.

Here they are:


A pair of Banana Republic something or others, and a pair of Sketchers. And yes, I know they could use a good shining.

Well, which pair do you think he chose?

OF COURSE he chose the Banana shoes! Do you know why? NOT because they’re shiny, or because they’re cool, or because they fit better. NO. He chose them because they have no laces.

Because kids don’t tie shoes anymore. It’s all velcro or snaps or something, and even if they have laces, they don’t tie or untie them, they tie them ONCE loosely so they can put them on and take them off without messing with the laces.

We are going down a bad road here.

Except, here is the back of my favorite two pairs of shoes (that aren’t flip flops).

shoes two

Notice the back? Yep. Tied once, never tied again.

Okay, maybe it’s not so bad. Let’s all relax.


14 Responses to “forget the degradation of language, think about the SHOES”

  1. Bob Says:

    Laces are the devils work

  2. Rick S. Says:

    every time i travel and have to go through airport security, i kick myself for having laces.

  3. Mary Says:

    Count your blessings. At least your child doesn’t need to have his shoes tied as TIGHTLY as possible and his mom is the only one capable of doing so. Just a little OCD.

  4. Jeff Says:

    I always left my laces tied as a kid and it drove my parents crazy. I blamed it on peer pressure and needing to change for gym class quickly.

  5. bikemike Says:

    i tie my shoes so tight, it cuts off circulation to my toes. toes aren’t needed, right.
    my stepson is twelve and wears a 10 1/2, almost as big as mine, crap.

  6. KanyonKris Says:

    All of my shoes are slip-on except my sport shoes and boots. Laces are old tech.

  7. Chad Says:

    So we finish the eighteenth and he’s gonna stiff me. And I say, “Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know.”

  8. dug Says:

    big hitter, the lama.

  9. steveA Says:

    “Be the ball”

  10. BurkeInTheOzarks Says:

    Caddyshack will never die! At least, not until our generation does…

  11. bikemike Says:


  12. steveA Says:

    You must pass on the good stuff to the next generation. Have you learned nothing from Dug’s blog? Make sure the wife is out of town.

  13. bike buddy Says:

    My husband is constantly bugging the kids, “Tie your shoes tighter! They’re all floppy!” of course he ties his like BikeMike cutting off the circulation.

  14. Kathleen Says:

    I’m sure your mother is going to be horrified to see the state of your tie-shoes. Bad boy.

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