do something, anything
January 14, 2009
One of my favorite Seinfeld moments is when Elaine and Putty are on an airplane, and they break up and get back together and break up again during a single flight.
During the “back together” portion, right after they’ve made up with each other, they settle in for the flight. Elaine pulls out out a magazine and starts flipping pages. Putty, on the other hand, stares straight ahead. After a few minutes, Elaine gets uncomfortable. She asks Putty if he would like a magazine.
“No, I’m good” says Putty. Resumes staring.
She offers him a book. Then a catalog.
“Nah. I’m good” insists Putty, staring at the seatback in front of him.
After a few more minutes, Elaine can’t stand it anymore.
“That’s IT” she rages. “We are DONE!” Putty agrees. And resumes staring.
I was at the windshield repair shop yesterday. Windshield repair takes about an hour, and the waiting room table was covered in magazines, though I had brought along my book about poo, and didn’t need the October Good Housekeeping.
But two others arrived in the waiting room just minutes after I did. A heavy set middle aged man sat down and, you guessed it, stared straight ahead. For an HOUR.
A woman sat a couple chairs over, pulled herself up cross legged in the small chair and, you guessed it, stared straight ahead.
FOR AN HOUR.
I grew increasingly uncomfortable. I fidgeted. I tried to read about poo in South Africa. And finally, I was seconds away from snapping and screaming at both of them “That’s IT! We are DONE!”
But just before I broke up with these two forever, my windshield was done, my name was called, and I could leave these two starers to their “thoughts.”
I did not use the bathroom.