have you studied your agrippa?
January 28, 2009
Last Spring I had to go to some formal award dinner for work. Kim graciously came with me, and we suffered through like 3 hours of “formal” cafeteria food and the speeches of award recipients.
But we did see something that made it all worthwhile–the servers were trained in the Munchausen school of food delivery and plate retrieval.
Okay, there isn’t a Munchausen school of food delivery and plate retrieval (as far as I know–if there is, I’ll be very excited, and may enroll), but maybe there should be. I have never seen anything like this.
The servers, like maybe all professional dinner servers, would line up at the back of the room, and move in teams of 4 or 6 commandos. The teams would break off from the main line and encircle a table, but not willy nilly, but rather as an encirclement maneuver, all the way around until we were surrounded.
That is, they would, in a line, walk around the table until it was encircled, stop and hover just behind us, and then, responding to some unseen or unheard signal (maybe they have implants in their brains? I couldn’t see any mini earbuds), they would step to the table in unison and either place a little bowl of Jello, or remove a plate full of whatever vegetable we wouldn’t eat. They would step back, hover again, and then, when the dog whistle sounded, leave the table, but as more of a DE-circling action.
I admit to being a bit unsettled. I mean, do they really study and practice this, like a sports team? And I wonder about the job interview.
“So, Alonso, I see you have some server experience. What methods have you studied?”
“Well, I learned the Bonetti method under Wesley, but I’ve also studied my Agrippa”
“Sure, that’s fine, but do you know the Capa Ferro?”
“Um, well, a bit.”
“Yeah, sorry, we’re a Capa Ferro shop. It’s all we use, with the encircling variation.”
“Damn. Well, thanks anyway.”