hold the forth
March 10, 2009
So I was at Harmons the other day, picking up some sundries, and I used the checkout line right in front of the GIANT BUNNIES. As the nice lady rang me up, I started blathering about the GIANT BUNNIES and how it must just be creepy to work the checkout line next to the GIANT BUNNIES and seriously, doesn’t that just creep you out, do you ever complain or ask to be moved to another line, and have you ever actually sold a GIANT BUNNY and if you did, did you want to call social services on those people?
And it hit me, pretty much mid sentence, that this was what Tocqueville meant.
What I mean is, last month, when I read (listened to) Team of Rivals by Doris Kearns Goodwin, Ms Kearns talked about Lincoln on the stump, and how the stump in those days included taverns and hotel lobbies and such, and then she threw in how Tocqueville said that Americans don’t have parlors to talk in, and in fact, Americans don’t really discuss things anyway, but rather Americans “Hold Forth.” I realize I’m not exactly using primary sources here, but you get the gist, right?
And THEN it hit me that this is what Kim tells me that I do–that is, I don’t talk or discuss, but I HOLD FORTH. And for a second I felt a bit bad, a bit abashed, even mollified.
But in the very next breath, I ranted to the cashier about how in order for me to get $10 back on my purchase, I had to first hit “Other” because the only pre-programmed options started at $20, and isn’t $10 the most common amount people want back, doesn’t EVERYONE want $10 back so they can wander over and buy gelato with it?
So then she tells me that she can just ring me up for gelato RIGHT AT THE CHECKOUT. Which started me off HOLDING FORTH about how that’s the most significant news I’d heard all day, and how they should immediately take down their stupid Special Olympics banners, and instead put up huge banners that declare that you can pay for your gelato RIGHT AT THE CHECKOUT.
Wait, I’m doing it again. Damnit!