i’m mad at the hangers

March 12, 2009

I try not to use wire hangers,  because I’ve heard they’re bad, and also I’m a little afraid of them. So little by little, as we roast marshmallows and need marshmallow sticks, I’m losing the wire hangers.

But what’s up with these hangers?

hanger plain

Sure, they’re plastic hangers, which I like. But can you see my problem? Can you see why I want to break them in half?

hanger yank

Happens EVERY time. Sure, I could use both hands, I could gently reach up, slip the collar over the useless hook in the hanger, or even remove the hanger from the bar and then remove the shirt from the hanger.

But I’m a MAN damnit. I grab and yank. It’s what we do.

So this morning, I just left it there.

hanger hanging hapless

And I grabbed a shirt from the stack instead of off a hanger. Sure, it’s a bit wrinkled, sure, I’m a lazy man, but I’ve got my principles.

Next time I’ll sacrifice the shirt, and just yank on it until the hanger breaks. Don’t think I won’t.

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25 Responses to “i’m mad at the hangers”


  1. Your scene is still better than that wire hanger scene from the 80s movie Mommy Dearest. No Wire Hangers! No Wire Hangers! Great, now I can’t get it out of my head.

  2. bikemike Says:

    i’m surprised Seinfeld didn’t do an episode based on this very thing.

    how did we even get “those kind” of hangers mixed in anyway?

    it’s almost the same aggrivation as trying to find tupperware lids…oh and matching socks.

  3. Jeff Says:

    I recommend slowly switching your hangers with Kim’s hangers gradually. Every morning take one of Kim’s shirts that are on a normal hanger and switch it with one of yours that are on an evil hooked hanger. After a month or two all your clothes will be on benign, hook-free hangers.

    But don’t do this if Kim feels the same way about the hangers, because any woman would notice this happening after like two days.

    • dug Says:

      jeff, that’s a good idea, but i’m afraid our hangers are hopelessly intermingled. it’s not a long term solution.

  4. Jeff Says:

    The first sentence of the previous comment was brought to you by the Department of Redundancy Department.

  5. chtrich Says:

    I HATE those hangers too and was just thinking about them the other day. Why are those dumb hooks there anyway?
    I have given all of them to my wife and have kept the ‘regular’ hangers for myself.

  6. mark Says:

    At our house, I’m the one who carefully takes things off of the hangers so as not to stretch the collar or damage the clothing. This behavior could perhaps be explained by the scene from mommy dearest, though whether it was the actual movie or the memory of an experience uncannily similar, I cannot tell.

    Rachel, on the other hand, doesn’t even unbutton her shirts all the way before pulling them off (I know!) and would totally be down with just yanking until the hanger broke.

  7. Rob (dug's brother) Says:

    Well now I want to know what those hook/hole thingys really are for. Ties maybe? Belt?
    I’m at a techy conference out in CA and just asked a guy sitting next to me(he looked smart).
    He thinks they are for hanging other hangers to form some kind of … I don’t know what. Ok, maybe they aren’t so smart at CA techy conferences…

  8. Canadian Roadie Says:

    They’re for those shirts/pants whatever that have the dangly hook things on the inside of the garment. For example, wide neck sweaters (usually women’s) that will fall off a regular hanger come equipped with internal pieces of plastic/fabric that hook into the hook/hole. They’re really annoying and usually get cut out off my clothes, making the extra hook/hole thing useless. Clear as mud? I thought so.

  9. bikemike Says:

    oh, the only good use for them is hanging up my bib shorts after washing cause bibs slide off the regular ones. crap, i knew there was a reason for them in my house.

  10. dug Says:

    bikemike, just loop the bib straps over the top. bien voila.

  11. Rob Says:

    Dug – the problem is not the hanger, the problem is your lack of tank tops. With a school of tank tops in your closet, you’de be gratefull for the little hook thingy

    (I used “school” for a group of tank tops since tank tops are usually accompanied by shflby’s which is a hairstyle commonly known as a mullet, which is a type of fish…which travel in, well, schools.)

    Get more tank tops…and a shflby and you’ll be good.

  12. VA Biker Says:

    In my home (qualifying the following statement), the extra hooks along the top are mainly used for, um, women’s undergarments (bras)… Mainly that, and some dresses.

    Hey, someone has to do the laundry and not get yelled at wrinkling things up. That’d be me. Ain’t sayin’ I’m proud about it, but just reportin’ the facts.

  13. steve Says:

    I do laundry in my house and am proud of it. However, the teenage daughters are on their own. I don’t fold much though. I thought wrinkle were in?

  14. bikemike Says:

    dug, righto…i have been known to pull the rod out of a closet because of bibs getting hung up on those dang things. i’m going to have to get my anti-gravity machine fixed an just throw all my hangers out.

  15. Olivia Says:

    I recently switched to fancy wooden hangers–probably irrationally because of some crazy HGTV make-over show reveal with a matchy matchy closet organization plan I somehow thought was normal. Now, when all my strappy and lacy things slide right off those slick wooden hangers, I long for the good-old-days of plastic hangers with trusty hooks. Maybe it’s a girl thing. The grass is always greener…

  16. mary Says:

    Or, just push thumbtacks in the wooden hangers you use for your strappy tops. The tacks works similar to the notch, keeping the straps in place. Well, you’re welcome.

  17. Olivia Says:

    Tacks are a great idea–whittling, maybe not so much. Would that require a pocket knife?

  18. JC Says:

    I think those are girl hangers. Please pack up all the hooky hangers and send them to me. I will send you back all my useless non-hook cute-strappy-top-falling-off hangers.

    (Thanks for making me laugh at work all the time!)

  19. jp Says:

    Bad for T-shirts…made for bibs!


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