accidents i don’t remember

April 29, 2009

I’m told that about 12 years ago I was hit by a truck while riding my bike. Although, I guess for all I know the scars and broken bones might have been caused by a frying pan fight with Kim, and after knocking me out with a bowling pin she drove me 3 miles down the road and pushed me out of the car. Except there were witnesses.

I spose it doesn’t matter. Well, it mattered to the insurance company. I’ll tell you about the insurance company tomorrow. Insurance companies suck. A lot.

Anyway, I woke up on my back in the parking lot of a gas station on State Street in Pleasant Grove, with an EMT peering down at me, removing my shattered helmet, cutting the strap on the Timbuk2 messenger bag I won at the 24 Hours of Moab, and then cutting off the sweatshirt I won at the old Provo Canyon race series. I protested feebly. I don’t win a lot of stuff, and they were ruining my legacy.

They loaded me in the ambulance, and I said “nooo, wait, I have to go to work. If Kim finds out I got hit on my bike, she’s gonna be pissed!”

Turns out she found out somehow, but she wasn’t pissed until the next day, when she went to run errands and left me home sleeping. When she came home and opened the garage door, I was riding my mountain bike in circles in the garage, trying to see how much it hurt to ride with a cut on my thumb that went to the bone, a concussion, a separated shoulder, a herniated cervical disc, a couple broken ribs, and no feeling in my left arm.

I gotta say, it wasn’t too bad. At least, I know I wasn’t a 10. I felt pretty good, riding circles in the garage. Until she commandeered my bike. It took me forever to find it.

20 Responses to “accidents i don’t remember”

  1. bikemike Says:

    this is how i read the third paragraph…

    “Anyway, i woke up on my back in the parking lot of a gas station on State Street in Pleasant Grove, with an EMT “PEEING” down on me.”

    dang i’ve either had too much/not enough caffine.

  2. dug Says:

    can we not even pretend like i would hit you with a frying pan sweetheart?


  3. dug Says:

    or a bowling pin. . .

  4. Rick S Says:

    Forget about the insurance company post tomorrow. I’d like hear about one of these frying pan fights. Does she use her good pan?

  5. Jonnie J Says:

    Kim – Stick with the Teflon coated pans…they leave fewer marks. At least that what Gina’s rationale is.

  6. mark Says:

    I personally can’t wait for the insurance company part. I’ve got a few rants there, too.

  7. dug Says:

    Rick, have I told you lately you’re my favorite brother-in-law?


  8. Mike J Says:

    My wife uses cast iron pans exclusively. I’d be in trouble if she pulled those babies out on me.

    • bikemike Says:

      nothing better’n a good seasoned cast iron pan…except, for a good m-l-t…mutton lettuce and tomato, where the mutton is nice and lean.

  9. Bebe Says:

    Dug, if you ride your bike on the street anything like you walk through Harmon’s parking lot, then I see why you got hit. 🙂 Look out, dude!

  10. erol Says:

    helmets are for pu**ies. the good Lord made a very adequate helmet called a skull.

  11. MOCougFan Says:

    I’m not sure which look I’d rather see when the garage door came up and Kim saw you on the bike… Her pissed look, or your totally busted look.

    I’ll take both.

    Hope the hoe wasn’t too handy for her at the time. Cause clearly you weren’t hurting that much.

  12. LT Says:

    On unrelated news to accidents, you may be interested to see this place where you can “drop a deuce” or “hit a trey”. Pretty fancy!
    Wonder if your fancy work bathroom was submitted….

  13. forgingahead Says:

    I assume this wacky behavior in the garage could have been attributed to the concussion. I hope.

  14. g Says:

    Off topic (unless such things are always ON topic), but have you ever seen this?

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