i can’t take the pressure
May 18, 2009
I’ve been slow to catch onto the newest movie rental wave. Mostly because I’m a retarded movie renter.
Kim and I will rent 3 movies, watch 1 of them, and let them all sit on the counter for a month. Bam! A gazillion dollar late fee. We might as well just buy the movies. We had Netflix for a while, but the same thing would happen, except for the late fees. We’d have the best queue, carefully mixing mystery, drama, comedy, noir, all the good stuff, and a new pair of movies would arrive, and whoops, we’d get distracted by something shiny and the movies would sit on the counter for a month. We would send more movies back unwatched than watched.
So now we have Redbox. A kiosk on every corner, you can return them anywhere in the universe, a buck a day, how cool is that?
Very cool, unless you’re a retard like me. With Redbox, it’s not just that the movies sit on my counter for a month.
No, with Redbox, it’s the pressure. I feel like I’m on the free throw line, no time on the clock, team down by one. With five or six crazy fans behind me. Except they’re not cheering for me, they’re looking at their watches, sighing heavily, and tapping their toes.
12 screens. That’s how many screens of movies you have to page through to see all the movies available in the big red box. You can’t just choose a movie at home, then go rent it from Redbox, cuz you never know what they’ll have in the box. Plus, if you’re not registered, you have to put in your email address. Correctly. You have to swipe your credit card. You have make DECISIONS! Right there, with people waiting. Sometimes they start shouting. “Dude! Just get ANYTHING!”
It’s too much for me. This is how we ended up with The Notebook.
All those movies on the counter, and THIS is the one we end up actually watching?