the wrong side

May 26, 2009

I have heard of exactly one couple, married at least 10 years, who claim to NOT have sides of the bed. Sam and Holly, I do NOT believe you. They say they would be hard pressed to even identify the side of the bed they favor, much less always occupy. I say piffle.

Kim and I have sides, and I think they were part of the prenup. I sleep stage left, Kim sleeps stage right. Not that our bed is on a stage. Or even should be. No stages.

Hotel rooms or guest rooms are not part of the deal. The deal there is, what side does Kim want, and then I take the other side. Usually there is one.

Here’s the problem with the sides that Kim and I have agreed upon by common law: it’s the WRONG side.

Why? I’m glad you asked.

I can’t go right. How awkward and inconvenient is THAT?

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10 Responses to “the wrong side”

  1. Jeff Says:

    If they don’t have their own sides of the bed, where do they put all their night stand stuff?

  2. bikemike Says:

    man, i’m divorced and even i know they’re lying. the face cream is on one side and the tv remote on the other…liars…whoa, flashback, i’m going to go throw up now.

  3. VH1 Says:

    Whoever has to get up first sleeps by the alarm clock (east side of the bed). We have BOTH nightstands stocked with the necessities. Better yet there is a remote for the tv on each nightstand.

  4. KanyonKris Says:

    Sam, that is hinky.

    Can’t go right? In all these years you haven’t developed into a switch-hitter? Too late to switch sides now. That would be harder than switching teams. (Ah, how my life has been enriched by Seinfeld.)

    Our side selection was simple: I (used to be) a heavy sleeper, my wife light. She’d wake up at the slightest noise from the kids, me dead to the world. She got the side closest to the door.

  5. Rick Says:

    It’s easy. During the winter, my wife sleeps nearest to the HVAC vent so she stays warm. In the summer we switch, so the A/C blows on me. She gets out her sweaters when the temp drops below 70, I get out my shorts when it is above 60. So, we have sides of the bed, but it is seasonal.

  6. Eber Says:

    our side was decidedly early in the marriage…whichever side is closest to the bathroom, Cic gets that side. We use the same methodology in hotels.

    We have yt to apply this rule to seats at the kitchen table.

  7. Mark Says:

    Too funny, my wife sleeps on the right side and I am on the left, wherever we go it is that way. Things that make you go hmmmmmmmmm.

  8. dave Says:

    Yep, My wife and I have the same problem, though it’s more my problem than hers. I, on the left, can’t go right. It’s been 10 years and there’s no changing now.

    The real question is: can she go left?


  9. We so have sides – and you can tell my the disorganized stack of books leaning precariously on my husband’s side of the bed. Mine are nice and neatly organized in a bookcase. Sorry to be cliche.

  10. Simon Says:

    Hmmmm. Now that I think of it, my wife and I have changed sides whenever we’ve moved. She prefers proximity to the toilet. The same applies to hotel stays.


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