May 28, 2009
I hate telling the barrista my name when I order. You wouldn’t think “Doug” would be hard to say or remember or write down. But when anybody taking my number or order at a counter says “Can I get a name?” I say “Bob.” If I say “Doug,” one of three things happens:
- “Excuse me?”
- “How do you spell that?”
- Blank Stare
I’ve experimented with names like Thermopolis and Mister Happy, but that just creates more problems. Because really, this is an interaction you’d like to be as short as possible. I like Holding Forth as much (way more) as the next guy, but not here, not NOW. We can talk when I give you my order. We can talk when you give ME my order. But I don’t want to talk when I give you my name. I want that to take no time at all.
I mean, sure, if my name really was Achilles, ask me about it. I would like that.
But don’t raise your eyebrows when I say Doug.
The downside is the number of Bobs. Someone is always taking my drink. I’m gonna find that guy.