dollar theater people

June 5, 2009

I love movies. Really, I just love em. I love watching them at home, or even, in this day of movie theater assholes who don’t know an inside voice from their, er, assholes, at the theater.

The REAL theater. Cuz there’s a place I simply can’t watch movies. That place is the dollar theater. And it’s not because of the crappy seats or the sticky floors, or the small screens or the scratchy sound. I get all that at the Broadway, but I still like going there.

No, I can’t stand dollar theater PEOPLE.

People who figure the bowling alley is booked with league night and “Hey, it’s just dollar, I can do whatever I want, talk if I want, cuz it’s just a dollar. What movie are we here to see again?”

I want those people to die. Maybe not all the way dead, but I want them to be mostly dead.

See, I’m not at the dollar theater (which I’m not, ever) because it just cost a dollar. I’m there because I missed the movie’s main run, but I still want to see it on the big (relatively speaking) screen.

So, you know. Shut up. Sit still. Stop laughing when it’s not funny. Or, better yet, get the hell out.

Thank you.

10 Responses to “dollar theater people”

  1. Rick S Says:

    For a $1.00 I’d rather buy a 44oz Diet Coke and just sit in my car and watch the people who go in to the dollar theater.

  2. bikemike Says:

    amen, brother, amen.

    by the way, these are the same people at the check out line in the grocery store who need someone to go get them a carton of cigarettes, whilst, holding up the rest of the line.

  3. KanyonKris Says:

    I’ve admitted I’ve attended dollar shows. Usually it’s kid movies so the festive atmosphere (yes, that’s the euphemism I’m going with) is OK. The wife and I have gone a few times – mostly it’s been OK, a few times not.

    One time a young couple brought a baby in a carrier and placed it in the isle. It cried a lot. I was astounded. Get a babysitter or just rent and watch the movie at home. But this is what happens with the cheap $1 price, as dug has expounded.

  4. ricky Says:

    what you have here is the basis of a good business case for the $3.50 movies. the tweener. ½ the price, ½ the talking. Then you can upgrade your want for them to just seriously injured. 3rd degree burns for example.

  5. grizzly adam Says:

    The last time I went to a dollar theater my car was broken into. I lost about 70 CDs and a new coat. It was the day after Christmas.

    I was 17.

  6. Olivia Says:

    I’m so with you on this one!

  7. Jonnie Says:

    Whateve whiner. The best thing about the dollar theater is that they still have the old style intermissions. I don’t think they are really planned though because its usually precluded by the sound going completely out at the climax of the story.

  8. tonks Says:

    Or you take your kids there to see HSM3 because you missed the main run, yet have promised your kids you would take them to see it, only to discover that the projector in that particular theater is broken, and rather than disappoint the kiddos, you are forced to take them to the only other kid movie playing at the nasty, disgusting, noisy, sticky, Sandy (as in noun, not adjective) dollar theater: Beverly Hills Chihuaha. Two words: Never. Again.

  9. fish Says:

    I go there to take my kids to kids’ movies. If I’m going to listen to kids talk during a movie anyway, it might as well be cheap.


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