it’s all about the nookie

I am bothered by a few words. I’ve mentioned my dislike of the words “nostril” and “ointment.” And while I’m not particularly put out by the way my kids drop the “t” from “mountain,” I am extremely put out by the extra “a” in “triathalon.” I mean, I don’t like triathlons anyway, and I can’t really get behind something that extends the word or the idea.

On the other hand, it makes triathaletes look and sound stupid, so I take that back. Insert all the letters you want in “triathlon.”

I realize I’ve gained a bit of a reputation for hating the superfluous apostrophe s in “Hog’s Hollow.” I will not be drawn into that discussion. I’ve made my position clear. The hollow does not belong to the hogs. I don’t think, in fact, that there ARE any hogs there.

But there is a local word whose widespread mispronunciation continues to drive me CRAZY.

Please, consider the following. Here is the word:

Timpooneke.

Let’s break it down:

Timp-oo-neke. I mean, sure, at first glance, it’s a weird word, Indian in origin, and all that. The word describes a section on the backside of Mount Timpanogos (A word that is NEVER mispronounced). It’s pronounced timp oo neekie. Say it with me.

But really. From timp oo neke, the worst you could come up with would be timp oo nekie, where the “neke” has a schwa for the first e. Right? Or maybe a short e instead of a long e. Eck. Whatever.

Instead, here is what gets said by 90% of the local population:

Timp a nookie.

These are not just the uneducated masses. No, I hear the gentry and the nobility saying the word like this all the time. “Nookie.”

Because even these people can’t screw up “timp.” But give them “neke” and somehow they turn that into “nookie.” As in “Wookie.” As in Chewbacca. Whose IQ we’re apparently averaging here. How does “neke” turn into “nookie?” Without a lobotomy?

I am annoyed. Perpetually.