my little charged particle

June 24, 2009

You know, I could have named my first son Itzhak. Or Abednego. Or even Scheherazade, although, I guess technically that’s a girls name, not that anybody he’s likely to encounter would know that.

And, in fact, Kim and I came THIS close to naming him Karch, after the world’s best volleyball player, once upon a time.

But we didn’t name him any of those names. We named him Ian.

Three simple letters. A name that, apart from Ian Faith, I’ve never heard mispronounced. Until this week.

The chiropractor called to confirm Ian’s appointment for the next day. She asked for Ion. As if he were were a charged particle. Which I guess he kind of is, but we don’t call him that.

I said “Ian’s not here.” She said “I’m confirming Ion’s appointment for tomorrow.” I said “great, IAN will be there.”

She called last night to follow up, which is nice. “How’s Ion doing?”

He’s died, full particle reversal, sad story. But Ian is doing great.

24 Responses to “my little charged particle”

  1. Larry Fisher Says:

    Important safety tip from Egon: Don’t ever cross the streams. I have given up on people pronouncing my name correctly so I use initials, numbers, or pseudonyms. Side Note: if you find a pair of Smiths on lower North Ghost Falls there is a $20 reward.

    • KanyonKris Says:

      I was there last night. Didn’t see any sunglasses, just a kid hiking who banged up his shin somehow. If I go again I’ll look for sunglasses.

      • KP Says:

        KK – thanks, lost em Sat in the rain, spent 3 hours back and forth on Sun, no luck, just thought I would check with the regulars. I appreciate it.

  2. bikemike Says:

    i knew that particle accelerator, in Bern, would be the death of somebody. don’t mess with the speed of light, man. glad Ian is fine, though.

  3. KanyonKris Says:

    Did Ian spell his name wrong on the admittance form just to mess with them, and by extension, you?

  4. fish Says:

    There were two guys in my ChemE class that were both Ian and had the same last name. I was stunned to hear one of them assure every one in the class (who were all laughing) that Aye-Anne was the only true and proper pronunciation of the name ‘Ian’. Sure it is.

  5. Blackdog Says:

    I am also named Douglas. I now find humor in the ways people spell my name. I have seen Dog, Dug, Dogg, Duog and on rare occasion Doug. It is one of my favorite things to do when we eat out. See how they spell my name when they write it on their list. Having a bit of a sense of humor I let my wife spell my son’s name using the German version. So his name is Erich. His name while not as funny ends is never spelled correctly. Tough the spellings are not as funny his reaction tends to amuse me.

  6. mark Says:

    I once met a woman named Scheherazade. I’m not making this up. Her name wasn’t even the most interesting thing about her.

    • dug Says:

      mark, i am all a flutter–what IS the most interesting thing about her?

      • mark Says:

        I interviewed her for admission to a business school–the kind that wall street firms, top-tier consultants, and fortune 500 companies recruit from.

        Her prior experience was working as a receptionist for the NOW. My three years as a stock broker and one as a marketing manager were actually pretty thin experience relative to my classmates. She was two years out of school and doing a job you don’t need a degree for and thought that was enough to get her in.

        She also thought that the answer to every question should pass through her feminazi filter, and that this would help her win points with her male interviewer who grew up in a red state (even though I didn’t share my political views, which aren’t particularly red, I did tell her where I was from).

        Anyway, the typical approach is to apply to three schools that are in your zone, one safety school you know you’ll get in to, and one reach school. I assumed we were the reach school. Until I asked her where else she was interviewing.

        Maybe all those 1,001 stories had her believing things that weren’t real.

        • JAT in Seattle Says:

          What’s a feminazi exactly? Did you make that up? It’s cool; I’ll have to start using that term…

  7. Annie Says:

    My last name is Fish. People just can’t seem to believe that it’s spelled F-I-S-H. I’ve resorted to saying, “Fish, as in tuna fish.” My husband hates it, but at least it gets spelled correctly. And over the phone, people always think I’m saying something else, like Fitch, or Fisher.

  8. mateo Says:

    pronunciations are always intriguing…we have a cat named Cabo, the vet office wants to call him Kay-bo, does anybody leave their town and venture into the world anymore?

  9. Jeff Says:

    I thought “it’s not Ian it’s Een.”

  10. mary Says:

    reminds me of one of my favorite jokes
    “I lost an election” atom #1
    “really?, are you sure” atom #2
    “Yep, I am positive” atom # 1

  11. Rob Says:

    Is he a Catian or a Anian? i guess that all depends on his mood?…

  12. Bob B. Says:

    I’ve told you this story before, but I was introduced to this smug guy who pronounced his name something close to “yawn.” I asked him if he spelled it “j-a-n” or “i-a-n” and he proceeded to treat me as if I were a nosy reporter. I made matters worse by bellowing his name: “EEE YAWN, would you kindly pass the salt?” The dinner was uncomfortable for everyone. There was genuine menace behind the ribbing on both sides.

    If he were Dutch or French, I could understand his hybrid pronunciation. But he’s from Virginia or some damn place, and his Madonna accent made it seem like he was visiting the colonies. Ever since then, I’ve considered both names — Ian and Jan — to be evil. Even though only one of them is truly evil. I just never found out which one it was.

  13. forgingahead Says:

    The level of clueless that some folks float around in is astounding.

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