the best, worst deal
July 29, 2009
When Maddy was about 5 years old, Kim looked out the back window to see Maddy and a neighbor boy on the swing set kissing. How cute is that? And, on the other hand, fairly, um, horrifying.
Kim wisely refrained from jumping out through the kitchen window, killing the boy with a Tonka truck, and packing Maddy off to a convent.
Instead, never guessing at the forces she was about to unleash, she found me, and we waited until Maddy came inside, and then she calmly started a conversation about love, drama, kissing, and innocence, and how maybe 5 years old was probably too early to start kissing.
“But MOM! I just LOVE HIM SO MUCH!”
Casting desperately about for any possible way to stem this tide of emotion, and hopefully nip pre-school romance in the bud, Kim made a deal with the devil. Or I did. I admit, we’re fuzzy on who actually came up with and MADE the deal. But once the deal was made, well, what are you gonna do?
“Okay Maddy, we’ll make you a deal. If you can make it until you are sixteen years old without kissing another boy, we will buy you a car for your sixteenth birthday.”
Because, you know, Maddy was 5, and A, would probably not even remember this conversation the next day, and B, surely she would kiss SOMEONE before she turned 16. Right? Since she’s not completely unattractive. Not that unattractive people don’t kiss. Anyway. The next Sunday Maddy announced the deal to the congregation during Open Mic day, and we were locked in.
Just shy of 11 years later, Kim took Maddy car shopping this afternoon. We’ve got exactly 33 days to get out of this or find a mystery witness.
If we get to the end of August, I’m going to start planting evidence.