August 13, 2009

Remember Lucy’s Christmas present, the crystal vial of magic cordial, that she uses to heal Edmund and more than a few talking animals after the big battle?

I have one of those.

Kind of.

Last Fall, during a family reunion at Zion National Park, me n Kim n the kids were hanging at Big Bend, admiring the view. A couple of young guys were there, having just finished a tough hike in the sun (or something much less strenuous, but who am I to judge?), and they had a small cooler full of beer.

But unlike the rest of the world’s beer containers, the bottles these guys were trying to open did NOT have twist-off’s. Which is really just mean of whomever gave them the beer. Or really dumb of the two guys, since obviously they didn’t have a bottle opener. Obvious because they were trying to use the edge of a bench, a rock, and one guy, his teeth.

Kim looked at me just like Aslan looked at Lucy, and said “dug, quick, your sandal.”

Which just happened to have a bottle opener in the sole. Like this:


The boy was thirsty that day, my friends. And I had been walking around for two years with a bottle opener under my feet for just this purpose. My special purpose. My never before used, why-do-I-have-this-stupid-piece-of-sharp-metal-on-the-bottom-of-my-flip-flop purpose.

It was destiny.

You know. Or whatever.


16 Responses to “destiny”

  1. rookieroadracer Says:

    Overkill man, overkill. I can teach you to open a beer with any square edged item strong enough in about 30 seconds. Lighter, back end of a pocket knife, small rock (with sharp edge), pen (if it’s strong enough), CO2 inflator, frame pump, car keys in a pinch, etc. It’s best to learn with the lighter or pocket knife and move on to the other stuff, the car keys are a bit tricky for the novice.

    Seriously, I can teach you this in no time. Probably even in a video online if you really want to know and your friends there don’t know how.

    The wierd part? I don’t drink. However, some soda’s have the pop top as well đŸ˜‰

    • rookieroadracer Says:

      BTW, why is it when I post on your blog my icon shows up but my name doesn’t link to my blog? I have the feeling I’m doing something wrong…
      Not that it matters much, My blog more or less only gets updated after a race weekend, which is like once a month. I wonder if I should start posting other stuff there between races. Bottle opening tutorials perhaps?

  2. Blackdog Says:

    I love Reef Sandals. I own 4 pairs. Those guys really know how to market to slackers.

  3. Nate V. Says:

    F-ing awesome.

  4. andy Says:

    i’ve got a couple pair of reef sandals. one with the bottle opener and one with a flask in the sole.

    the flask is useless…cracked right away. the bottle opener is great, if one doesn’t mind having their bottle opened by something that has walked across many a bathroom floor.

  5. rookieroadracer Says:

    I should mention that reef sandals are awesome, I just don’t follow the need for the bottle opener. The flask, OTOH, would be great if it didn’t break right away.

  6. bikemike Says:

    Holy Crap!

  7. See, some things you just don’t know you need until they hit you upside the head. Amazing.

  8. Phil Says:

    I want those flip-flops.

  9. stevenbpt Says:

    Gotta love destiny! I forgot you had those. Nice to see them come in handy!

  10. Jeff Says:

    I don’t know if I want the bottom of my sandal to be that close to where I will soon be putting my lips. Isn’t that like keeping snacks on the back of your toilet? Sure they don’t actually touch, but that’s some unnerving proximity.

  11. Grant Says:

    I have one of these:

    works a treat, but not necessarily the most portable bottle opener…

  12. When you said special purpose it reminded of the movie “The Jerk”. But that didn’t have anything to do with sandles.

    • Anonymous Says:

      always nice when someone picks up the movie reference. more than anything, that’s what keeps me going.

  13. jeff Says:

    Doesn’t everyone keep snacks on the back of the toilet? I think I need the sandals for… you know, fate and all.

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