new dentist

August 25, 2009

Have you noticed how, when you go to the dentist, even if you’re normally a very calm, relaxed person, every muscle in your body tenses up as you enter the office, you lay on the dentist “chair” with an arched back, and you don’t relax until you’re safe in your car again?

Anyway. My brother in law has moved from California, and opened a practice in Salt Lake. So naturally we moved our business from our former dentist of like 11 years to the new practice. That’s how we roll.

Top Five Things You Never Hear Your Regular Dentist Say, But Your New Dentist, Since He’s Your Brother In Law, Feels Free to Say In Front of You

1. Whoops.

2. It’s like a pressure washer, but for your teeth.

3. (In response to my question “Am I bleeding?”) Yeah, but just a little, you big baby.

4. Wait, are you wearing my pants?

And my favorite thing that no dentist has ever said to me before:

5. Hey, do you wanna go grab some breakfast?

13 Responses to “new dentist”

  1. Rick S. Says:

    Was your shirt untucked or tucked when you got up?

    • dug Says:

      well, that’s the problem–my shirt is NEVER tucked, but it was tucked when i left.

      • stevenbpt Says:

        Sunday’s you big liar!! Since he’s family maybe you can talk him letting you have the gas for the whole appt. That would make the whole thing that much more tolerable. I get the shivers just thinking about going to the dentist, no offense intended MOcougfan. Some of my best bishops were/are dentist’s.

      • KanyonKris Says:

        That’s one tuck, one no tuck. Is there any situation for which there is not an appropriate Seinfeld quote? I think not, that’s why it’s my new religion.

        BTW, dug, you’ll need to talk to your bishop about that tuck, even if you were under the nitrous influence. Well, unless he’s also a dentist.

        • MOCougFan Says:

          Glad I live in MO. The thought of having Dug come talk to me about his tucking habits in the chair makes me just a bit uncomfortable. I’d refer him to the 1st counselor.

  2. MOCougFan Says:

    “Huh… wonder how I’m gonna fix that?”

    That’s my favorite line to use. Talk about an increase in blood pressure.

  3. bikemike Says:

    the wife of a good friend WAS my hygenist until i found out she got her dental training scraping barnacles off the bottom of navy ships. i would sweat more in her chair than i would if i did a century in 100 degree heat. noooo thank you.

  4. VA Biker Says:

    Funny stuff. I totally agree about the chair and being uncomfortable. I really love the guys who go right for the Novacaine needles to the gums w/o any desensitizing swab. Bastards. I wonder where the video camera is recording the patient’s reactions to receiving the first jab. Hey, was that laughter from the next room?

    I’m cycling friends with a couple of dentists. I can’t see getting dentist work done by same guys I cut up with on the bike, joking about all kinds of stuff, including the physical conditions of some of their anonymous patients (of which I would become part of AND undoubtedly the butt of the same talk). Too close.

    Besides which, I won’t be going to them to fund their addiction for cycling gear. (Bikesnob NYC rips dentists for their need for custom machines and the ubiquitous Trek Madone as a “gap bike” purchase, while their custom Serotta or Seven is being finished.)

    Although maybe I could play up my pauper status and get some of their nice leftovers as they plow through the spectrum of high end gear…


  5. This is a nice and interesting site…

    john korner

  6. Shelle Says:

    Whoops, that my favorite!

  7. Bud Says:

    I knew I would get on your blog somehow. I am proud of that. Whoops though? I don’t remember saying that. Maybe I was on the gas. Good stuff. Still want to go to breakfast?

  8. Daughter #3 Says:

    I admit you are kind of right on that. I never loose up until we leave.


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