who spun the crank?

September 3, 2009

Who hasn’t heard that if you get stung by a jellyfish, you should have someone pee on you? Everyone, right?

Of course, Mythbusters debunks the notion that getting peed on will save you, or even help in any meaningful way, except to maybe distract you from the terrible painful death you’re experiencing, by humiliating you a bit before you die.

Well, at this year’s Leadville, urine made a comeback.

Due to extravagant weather, including thunderstorms, sleet, hail, and even a bit of snow, for everyone but Kenny, who rides a belt drive, and singlespeeders, who didn’t really need their chains to be clean, chain lube was more in demand than pepper was to feudal lords. And just as scarce.

But in heat of battle, you make do. Remember in that opening scene of Saving Private Ryan, when Captain Miller needs to attach a mirror to his bayonet to get a better look at the pill box? He reaches into Sergeant Horvath’s mouth and pulls out his gum, and uses the gum to fix the mirror to the bayonet. And later, in the battle for the town, he disables a tank with a “sticky bomb” made out of sticks, milk, and feces. Okay, I made that last part up.

But still. Improvisation saved Private Ryan. And it saved at least two racers at Leadville.

Steve, Mark’s brother, riding a borrowed and very high-end Gary Fisher Superfly, had a hopelessly gunked up chain and no lube. He sprayed the chain with CarboRocket, and his shifting problems were over. Really. It’s not just for breakfast anymore.

Jamie, riding a not-so-low-end Black Sheep, also had CarboRocket in his bottles, but he needed it for fuel. So he did the next best thing–he peed on his chain. Surely his pee had some CarboRocket left in it, right?

While he claims it worked liked a charm, I can’t help but wonder–who spun the crank while he peed on the chain?

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12 Responses to “who spun the crank?”

  1. Aaron Says:

    you can tell me the truth. It was steve who peed on the chain, wasn’t it? I knew there was a reason he replaced the chain before giving it back to me.

  2. mark Says:

    I want to know which of the three other guys who finished with Jamie was being short roped up the last climb. Pretty sure it was quid-pro-quo–you spin the crank, I’ll tow you up the hill.

  3. KanyonKris Says:

    Perhaps it was a spray-and-pray.

  4. eber Says:

    hadn’t heard that story about jp. classic. given how sticky CR is does that mean the pee gets sticky too? sticky pee…good band name.

  5. Rick S. Says:

    what happens at Leadville, stays at Leadville.

  6. bikemike Says:

    can you imagine riding by and watching as this is happening…no, thanks.

    • stevenbpt Says:

      Are you kidding? That would have been hilarious and would have kept me going for another 25 miles laughing. If I actually rode and could breath and laugh at the same time. Just sayin.

      • bikemike Says:

        yeah, but, the thing and the hanging and the cranking. then again, after all those miles maybe worth it. i retract, thank you.

  7. forgingahead Says:

    Best blog post title ever!

  8. MOCougFan Says:

    What if you got excited and spun the crank too fast. You might get some backsplash. That would be ICK.

  9. tibiker Says:

    Just to set the record straight, NO ONE spun the crank. Think pressure washer and not lube and you get the picture.
    The worst is that it occurred above tree line on the Columbine climb so I was in plain view of everyone going up (or down) the hill. Desperate times call for desperate measures. All I know is that it worked!


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