no loud noises
September 15, 2009
I would like to ask if, in the history of HOAs (Home Owner Associations), has there ever been one that didn’t suck so bad you wanted to blow them up?
I love where I live. I’ve been clear on this. Even though the developer of the entire, well, development, was a shady huckster who eventually went bankrupt leaving the place only half done. I mean, we have no monopoly on shady developers, right?
Anyway, that’s not my point. My point is, the HOA sent me a letter about “DEBRIS IN MY SIDE YARD.” The caps are theirs.
This is the same HOA that works out of a trailer surrounded by weeds and crap.
Apparently my side yard has become a nuisance. Of course, I live in the mountains, and if you cross my property line behind my house, there is what we in the mountains like to call “open space.” Which means, nobody maintains it. I’ve been prohibited by the city of Draper to maintain this open space, so it’s nothing but a steep hill covered with weeds. Which I’m okay with, actually.
But if you step over to my side yard, on which I plan on putting a pump track, but because I’m a lazy ass homeowner, I haven’t actually put the pump track in yet, so there are some weeds over there. Okay, a LOT of weeds. But not more weeds than if you walked a few steps North, to the hallowed OPEN SPACE, where you could get lost in the weeds I’m prohibited from mowing.
The weirdest thing? Here is the text from the letter:
DEBRIS IN SIDE YARD–Nuisances: 4.2.6 No weeds, dead trees or plants, rubbish or debris of any kind shall be placed or permitted to accumulate upon yada yada yada . . . and no odors or loud noises shall be permitted to arise or emit therefrom . . . yada yada yada.
WTF? No odors or LOUD NOISES.
Um. What? No loud noises are permitted to emit from my weeds? I can’t get Steve Caroll from Anchorman in there yelling “Very Loud Noises”?
What the hell kind of incident resulted in this rule?