September 22, 2009
Even though not being able to open packages designed to foil Navy Seals is not evidence of being a spaz, I am, indeed, a spaz. We’ve established this.
But, just because evolution is accepted by 99% of the scientific community does not mean that scientists just stop adding evidence to the pile. Mound. Endless conglomeration.
No, they keep finding stuff.
Like the other night. The other night around 1:30, I woke up and wandered, incident free, into the bathroom, did my business, and returned to bed and peaceful sleep.
All that is true except everything after the word “wandered.”
Here is the view from my bedroom into my bathroom:
Forget my artistic rendering for a second. Now imagine all the lights turned off, and me wandering in the general direction of the opening, but not wandering in a straight line. Maybe leaning slightly to the left. For whatever reason.
Now imagine me slamming my left knee into the edge of that door, leaving a splotch of blood on the wood, blood pouring down my leg, the door popping off it’s hinge and swinging open, and me collapsing to the floor with a blood curdling, well, not a scream, but more of a blood curdling grunt and moan.
Couple days later, the damage is still visible:
You know where else the damage is still visible? The sheets. That’s what Kim gets for sleeping through the whole incident.