would that count as a poke?
October 26, 2009
Floss is weird. First, it’s just a string you wrap around your fingers, and rub between your teeth.
But my floss is made out of Gore Tex. Just like my ski jacket. Am I the only one who finds this weird? I was struck by the weirdness this morning, because I was flossing in the shower, as is my wont, and while tugging the super slippery, and (I assume) waterproof Gore Tex floss down between an old tooth and my shiny new crown, the floss snapped.
Apparently Gore Tex is water resistant and slippery, but not super strong.
Anyway, it got me thinking about the weirdness of floss. Which got me remembering the weirdest floss story I’ve ever heard.
A couple years back, I was talking with my friend Ben about a guy in the neighborhood, about whom I’d heard something weird. I said to Ben “Do you know what’s weird about [let’s call him] Barney?”
And before I could jump in with my funny story about Barney, Ben said “That he’s used the same piece of floss for over a year?”
Picture me doing a comical double take, times four. I started to respond as if I hadn’t heard him: “So I heard he called the cops and . . . Wait. WHAT?” I’m pretty sure my eyes bugged out.
“Yeah. He told me. He re-uses the same piece of floss over and over again. For like a year.”
“Wait. My floss breaks like 25% of the time. I would be down to an inch of floss in a week.”
“Yeah, I dunno. It’s what he told me.”
So, I have floss made out of Gore Tex. Barney must have floss made out of a single stretchy molecule not yet released to the general public..
And I’m not sure which is the bigger deal–that the floss never breaks, or the idea of accumulated gunk on the floss. How does he wash the floss? Simple rinse most days with a vigorous soaping on Saturdays? And where does he keep the floss? And does the floss fray? And WHY does he do this? Floss is not expensive.
I cannot wrap my head around this. And now Barney has moved away, so I can’t ask him. I feel like I need to get on the Facebooks and track him down and ask him. Would that count as a Poke?