the sacred snooze

December 15, 2009

Let me just lay some some snooze ground rules.

Rule Number One: The snooze button exists so you can get an extra 7 minutes (or 10 minutes, or whatever your snooze is set to) of sleep. Don’t try to explain to me that I could just set the alarm for 7 (or 10) minutes later and just sleep straight through. If you try to do that, you clearly don’t understand the Tao of the snooze.

Rule Number Two: Rule number one shall only be excepted for one other thing. I shall not name that other thing here, except to say, the snooze could conceivably and righteously be used as a time limit for that one other thing. Some people perform better under pressure.

An egregious violation of “The Snooze,” a violation which should generally result in loss of snooze privileges, would be this–The alarm goes off, you hit (or someone hits) snooze, and rather than going directly back to sleep, you begin talking. TALKING!

There is no crying in baseball, and there is NO TALKING during the sacred snooze.

Glad I could help.

20 Responses to “the sacred snooze”

  1. bikemike Says:

    you snooze, you lose.

  2. KanyonKris Says:

    Per Rule Number Two – something tells me you HAVE used the snooze conceivably.

    With a 9 minute snooze and the average “conception” at 11 minutes, under pressure indeed!

  3. mark Says:

    I look forward to reading your other post this afternoon. You know, so this one goes below the fold before Kim sees it. Hi, Kim!

  4. philip Says:

    The real questions is how many times are you allowed to use the snooze? For rule #1 or rule #2?

  5. ricky Says:

    is the strict “no talking” rule in play for both applications?

  6. Rick S. Says:

    Apply rule #2 and get yourself a 4 year old. You will never need to set your alarm or snooze again.

    • bikemike Says:

      4 years old right outta the gate…wow, on the one hand you eliminated the diapers but holy yikes on the entry point.

  7. evilbanks Says:

    God blessssss the snooze button, I use that magical button every day of my life.

  8. Rob Says:

    Did you know that 9 times 5 is 45 minutes? I know that. I know that very well.

  9. kim Says:

    you must be sooo tired since you must know i’m going to say no to the “other thing” in the morning from now on

  10. KanyonKris Says:

    Will this next child be named Nine or Snooze?

  11. berry Says:

    My snooze is 10 minutes long. And it’s additive…3 presses gets me 30 minutes uninterrupted. It’s the best alarm clock I’ve ever owned.

  12. stevebpt Says:

    I always believed time limits were more like guidelines….

  13. […] come from a family of seven kids, and if my parents had thought things through during those sacred snooze sessions, it’s likely that I and/or several of my siblings would not […]

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