December 17, 2009
I’m sure this happens at all places of employment, and even some fairly rigid home environments, like maybe at the Von Trapps in the early days. By “this” I mean official memos. Some with cover sheets, some without. I’m not going get into a cover sheet argument with you.
For example, here at Dunder Mifflin everybody got an official memo that went something like this:
“Hey! Anderson. No more shorts, flip flops, or beanies!”
Or something to that effect. The actual memo went on at some length.
Anyway, it’s time for me to send an official memo to the world. Or at least the portion of the world that uses public, or even semi-private, restrooms. Including outhouses.
Memo To The World:
In no event shall anyone using this or any public restroom make loud, or even audible, noises expressing desperation, relief, or celebration.
This includes the following noises, which are now proscribed:
1. Grateful Sighing
6. High Fiving
7. Pep Talks
9. Polynesian War Cries
10. Absolutely No Rebel Yells
Thank you for your cooperation.