take this back

December 23, 2009

The reason I hear more than any other for shopping at Costco is “They will take anything back, anytime, for any reason.”

At least that’s what my brother tells me.

We let our Costco membership expire a few months ago because it was costing us too much money. Not the membership, that paid for itself. I just got tired of going in for the yummy uncooked tortillas and coming home with a car jack and a generator. That stuff adds up.

But I snuck into Costco with a friend the other day, and while he piddled around at the membership counter, I noticed a nice young lady trying to take advantage of the Costco reputation for accepting all returns for any reason.

costco return pic mod

After the woman grew first agitated with the answer she got from the customer service rep, then irate, and finally stomped out of the store, her package under her arm, I caught the eye of the woman who had been helping her.

“Um, was that woman trying to return a bag of nuts that she bought here over a YEAR ago?”

“Yeah. She said she never opened them, so we should take them back. I pointed out the long passed expiration date, but that just made her madder.”

Like teachers, customer service reps are waaay underpaid. Way.

18 Responses to “take this back”

  1. fish Says:

    Good thing you snapped the pic, otherwise nobody would ever believe that story.

  2. dug Says:

    fish, a little detail adds credibility to any story. don’t you cross examine me counselor.

    it’s like in the untouchables, when costner tells connery he’s a treasury agent, and connery just lets him go. when costner objects, connery says “who would claim to be that, who is not?”

  3. Rachel W Says:

    Don’t try to pin that story on a lady. Clearly, that is a man.

  4. bikemike Says:

    as my last name is also Costner…Merry Christmas to all you other crazy characters.

  5. JZ Says:

    A man wouldn’t even take it back the next day. Well at least not this man.

    I kind of feel sorry for this woman if money is so tight that she needs to return the year old nuts. I would have given her a couple of bucks.

  6. KanyonKris Says:

    My best return story:

    When we got married we had some wedding gifts to return, one of which was a can opener. It had the Kmart logo on it so we went there. The customer service lady was waving her scanner gun all over it, but nothing. It had no bar code. But she remembered seeing this model when she first started working at Kmart more than 10 years ago. This can opener had been in the wedding re-gifting circuit for over 10 years. Awesome. We considered keeping it in circulation but decided to humanely retire it. We got $15 for it.

  7. stevebpt Says:

    JZ could have followed her out and paid a couple bucks for the nuts! Though, being a guy, having tried year old almonds (my mom throws away nothing!! Expiration dates are just means to make more money for the manufacturer.) that lady would have saved a lot of trouble giving them to KK because they would not have been good. Maybe in a fruit cake, for those of you who like that sort of thing. Personally I think they make good weights in an on-deck circle. Merry Christmas to all and happy holidays to everyone else!

  8. Jason Says:

    We have the same problem at Costco – they’ve got an all star lineup of buyers, uncanny how good they are at picking out stuff I’ll throw on the cart on the way to the Otis Spunkmeyere Cookie fridge.

  9. ricky Says:

    everything about this post is funny.

  10. savvymama Says:

    That woman has way too much time on her hands!!

  11. Miles Archer Says:

    A Kmart can opener for a wedding present? I don’t believe that.

    • dug Says:

      miles, if i could go back to “the untouchables” for a moment.

      remember when the crew heads up to canada to intercept the “accountant”? connery encourages the accountant to talk by propping up a dead man against the outside wall, and shooting him.

      after the accountant agrees to cooperate, the canadian mountie, still shaken by connery’s unconventional interrogation techniques, says “i do NOT approve of your methods.”

      costner looks at him for a second, then says “yeah? well you’re not from chicago.”

      you don’t believe in a kmart can opener for a wedding gift? yeah? well you’re not from utah.


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