January 20, 2010
You wanna know what bugs me? (You know you do, why else are you here? Slow news day?)
Why is it, when I go to the grocery store, even to my beloved Harmons, why, when I get back to the dairy aisle/section, when I’m looking for milk (we drink a lot of milk–I tend to buy three gallons at a time), why, WHY is the skim milk always, ALWAYS the farthest away?
I’ll be walking down the seasonal aisle, enjoying the seasonal candy, especially enjoying knowing that the new seasonal Reese’s Peanut Butter eggs/hearts/pumpkins/trees are now in stock, and as I turn the corner in the dairy section, I spy the milk. But as I approach the milk I start to get a little pissed off.
Oh, look, there’s the whole milk. Who the hell drinks that? Oh, and now the 2%. Sure, if I wanted to pour something over a bunch of peaches, maybe I’d buy that. And, now, the 1%. 1% baffles me. How do you not just drink skim? 1% is no-man’s land–shit or get off the pot already.
Finally! The skim. Why? Why is the skim milk always in the way back? I don’t need the exercise–it’s those giant whole milk people that need the exercise.
Like Otto screams when he opens the safe only to find it empty, “Ok, Ok, DISAPPOINTED!”