January 20, 2010

You wanna know what bugs me? (You know you do, why else are you here? Slow news day?)

Why is it, when I go to the grocery store, even to my beloved Harmons, why, when I get back to the dairy aisle/section, when I’m looking for milk (we drink a lot of milk–I tend to buy three gallons at a time), why, WHY is the skim milk always, ALWAYS the farthest away?

I’ll be walking down the seasonal aisle, enjoying the seasonal candy, especially enjoying knowing that the new seasonal Reese’s Peanut Butter eggs/hearts/pumpkins/trees are now in stock, and as I turn the corner in the dairy section, I spy the milk. But as I approach the milk I start to get a little pissed off.

Oh, look, there’s the whole milk. Who the hell drinks that? Oh, and now the 2%. Sure, if I wanted to pour something over a bunch of peaches, maybe I’d buy that. And, now, the 1%. 1% baffles me. How do you not just drink skim? 1% is no-man’s land–shit or get off the pot already.

Finally! The skim. Why? Why is the skim milk always in the way back? I don’t need the exercise–it’s those giant whole milk people that need the exercise.

Like Otto screams when he opens the safe only to find it empty, “Ok, Ok, DISAPPOINTED!”


29 Responses to “disappointed”

  1. brandon Says:

    If they put the whole milk farthest away, they know the ‘giant’ whole milk people will not walk that far and they will never sell it. The skim milk lovers, why anyone would want to be that, on the other hand will walk the extra 10′ to get their white water.

  2. KanyonKris Says:

    Old people buy whole and they don’t like walking. can you imagine the hue and dry from the seniors if the skim were closest?

    BTW, my offer still stands: I’ll buy you dinner if you eat it at the bathroom table at 712.

  3. Alex/Watcher Says:

    Uh. I *love* whole milk. When my wife goes out of town, it’s the first thing I buy (seriously- even before porn or ice cream). In fact the only food-related argument I ever won with my wife was what type of milk to keep in the house normally (she wanted 1%, I wanted 2%.)

    Seriously. Skim milk? That’s like drinking old bathwater that’s been waved past a dead cow…

    • dug Says:

      whole milk is for lattes. half and half is for coffee. skim is for everything else–including when i make no-bake cookies.

      • KanyonKris Says:

        Skim? Were you a POW? It’s not the depression, live it up a little and at least move to 1%.

      • mark Says:

        Wait, whole milk lattes? You’d have to chew it! Whole milk capuccinos I can see. But I’ll take a skinny latte every time.

        I’m right there with you on half and half for coffee. On this, we can agree.

        But what do I know. I’m a 1% guy. At least for cereal and cookies, which is the only time I have milk.

        • mtb w Says:

          Whole milk is good for cappucinos and baking (mmm, cookies!). But for everyday drinking/cereal, no way. Too thick. The spoon will get stuck in the cereal bowl.

          I’m a 1% guy too. I started out a 2% years ago but my gf wanted me to go skim (to lose weight) so we compromised at 1% and I’ve been there ever since. Skim is just way too watery. Nice movie quote, though.

  4. bikemike Says:

    i can’t drink milk anymore (allergies). not going for the lactaid and sure as heck no soy.

    “Why are you throwing that cereal out?” “Because we’re outta milk”. “Boy, you better put some water on that cereal and eat it”.

  5. fish Says:

    Agree on the whole and two percent. Agree to disagree on the one percent vs. skim.

  6. Zoonhollis Says:

    I drink the 1%, if for no other reason than I can’t stomach the thought of drinking bluish milk-water.

  7. VaLene Says:

    Dug. I thought you had reasonably advanced taste buds. And you can’t see why 1% is infinitely better than skim? There is a huge difference in taste between 1% and skim, and the save you get in calories is not even worth it. I’m with Fish – agree to disagree.

  8. Flyin' Ute Says:

    Whatever good you are doing your body by drinking skim milk is undone by your addiction to diet coke.

    But that is what I drink. Skim that is not the coke.

  9. christa89 Says:

    I drink whole milk to go UP in weight – walking the extra steps will make me lose the precious ounces I’ve gained! :O

  10. michwea Says:

    Bitch, bitch, bitch. You think you’ve got problems? Check out where they put the soy milk. Way, way, way in the back, top shelf, totally wedged in so you have to stand in the dairy case for leverage so you can pull it out. Sheesh. I’d be happy to reach for the skim.

    • dug Says:

      michwea, yeah, that sucks for you. and believe me, i’m trying to muster up the requisite sympathy. i’m tryin to be the good shepherd. but it’s hard, ringo.

      if only you hadn’t said soy.

  11. chtrich Says:

    Maybe you should approach the milk isle from the other direction. Problem solved.

  12. andy Says:

    skim milk? ugh. i don’t like dariry ultra lowfat anything. cheese, milk, ice cream, mayo. wait…is mayo not dairy?

    nice Friday reference bikemike

  13. Jot Says:

    Skim milk? That’s just an experiment that shows that if you want to you can take water and color it white.

    Good grief. Drink dilute primer and there is no real difference.

  14. stevenbpt Says:

    Skim unless I’m making hot chocolate then I will reach for whatever is in the house and creamiest up until whole. I grew up on whole and liked it (when it was store bought). Tried 2% then made the jump to 1%. No taste difference between skim and 1% so why not save the fat. I eat enough fat elsewhere. And I could use the longer walk, did you say 10 ft.? That one builds up a sweat!

  15. Rob Says:

    Have you made chocolate milk with skim milk? In some parts of the country they bottle it and call it Yoo-Hoo.

  16. stevenbpt Says:

    usually all we have is skim, so yes, we have had “yoohoo”. Never heard of it though. Another idea someone stole and made money on instead of me!!

  17. stevenbpt Says:

    um, no, the lower fat and sugar chocolate mild idea!!!

  18. stevenbpt Says:


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