i should see a doctor

I am a spazz. And that’s not a good thing.

I mean, apologies to all of you with diagnosed conditions, paraplegia, all that. I’m more of a mobile spazz. Which makes me dangerous. I need a cork on my fork, to prevent me hurting myself (and others).

I’ve written about this before, even reviewed a few spazzy moments. Lately two particularly spazzy things have been getting me down.

First, the second most annoying thing about backcountry skiing is fumbling with my ear buds. I keep my iPhone in my front left pocket, run the headphones up under my jacket, put one in the internal zippered pocket, and the other up the neck, and into my right ear.

Seems simple enough.

Except it slips. It drops. It pulls. I turn my head and it yanks out. I have to remove a glove to push it back in my ear. And more often than not, once I’ve put it back deep into my ear, so that it feels like an internal headphone, as I pull my hand away from my head, I hook the cord and yank it out of my ear again.

I think on Coalpit a couple weeks ago I did this trick six hundred times. Pull glove off. Insert earbud in ear. Accidentally pull earbud out of ear by hooking cord with glove or hand. Repeat SIX HUNDRED TIMES. Lose all feeling in freezing hands.

My latest spazziness occurred last night, right in front of Maddy. Standing in front of kitchen counter, I have in front of me a large cup and a can of Diet Cherry Coke. I pick up the can and begin to pour. And inexplicably (except for the obvious explication that I am a total retard), as I pull my hand out of the way, I inadvertently push the cup to one side. And pour Diet Cherry Coke all over the counter.

I should see a doctor.

The only thing funnier this week was when Ian, in the family prayer, expressed his sincere hope that we would all have a good night’s sleep and live to see tomorrow. In pretty much those words. Killed the room. And the prayer.

[Oh, and the FIRST most annoying thing you can do with your iPod in the backcountry? Forget to bring it on a six hour hike–sorry Rick.]