where’s paperman #1

May 25, 2010

Okay, today we start a new feature that I hope will be a weekly throwaway post that takes some of the pressure off of me. Because, as much as I love y’all, it’s always all about me.

This new feature, which I guess I sort of began last week, but only by accident, will be called “Where’s Paperman?”

This weekly feature will last as long as the good folks with whom we at Dunder Mifflin share our class C- office space retain their sense of humor.

See, they are a children’s clothing company. We are a small software company. My double wide cubicle sits on the frontier, the border between chic and geek. Kind of like the 38th Parallel.

Anyway. The other day, I discovered Paperman just sitting in a box, next to unfrozen cave man. Okay, there was no unfrozen caveman, but if there were, you know unfrozen caveman and Paperman would be friends. Or maybe mortal enemies.

Again, anyway. Paperman looked bored. Or maybe I was the one who was bored.

Irregardless.

Because Paperman only wants you to THINK he’s bored. When the clothing company people, who are constantly tracking Paperman down and putting him back in his box, since they obviously had their senses of humor (or is it “sense of humors”?) removed long ago, aren’t paying attention, Paperman escapes from the box to engage in wild office hijinks.

Where was he today?

Voila!

paperman peeper two

I pity the poor fool in stall number one. Sucks to be him.

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21 Responses to “where’s paperman #1”

  1. GrizzlyAdam Says:

    I’m not sure Unfrozen Caveman would be friends with Paperman. He was a lawyer, after all.

  2. bikemike Says:

    “Pssst, hey buddy, what’cha doin'”?

  3. Kim Says:

    “ir”regardless…really? I have come to expect better fom you, sir!

    • bikemike Says:

      Kim, i was gonna point that out but since i was voted vice-president of “The Stupid Moron Association”, i thought i had better not. Next year i’m running for prez.

    • dug Says:

      kim, how long have you known me? do i need to put an emoticon after the word with a tongue in a cheek?

      irregardless of whether or not i used irregardless or not, i would hope you would have a little faith. or not.

      • stevenbpt Says:

        I have heard someone suggested a grammatical symbol for sarcasm or irony. I can’t remember which. And, to give you credit it actually “felt” like you did it on purpose, but irregardless, it sat there and said “someone please give Dug a hard time about this”. Really.

      • Rachel Says:

        Even believing it was sarcastic, I still think you ruined my day.

        • dug Says:

          wow, rach, that’s a lot of power you’re implying that i have. over you.

          i’ll try to use it for good, never for evil.

          • jruss Says:

            Irregardless. Amazing. That little number ranks right up there with my other favorite Utah-ism: Expecially.
            Gotta run. I need to quickly finish off this tasty, frozen, highly caffeinated beverage before it unthaws.

  4. Jeff Says:

    I am suddenly jealous that there’s no paperman at my office. We need something like that when things are slow.

  5. Scott Says:

    What caused the discoloration (brown spot) on the mat below the urinal? Something is going on there. Is there something more potent in Diet Cokes near your office?

  6. stevenbpt Says:

    Kim beat me to the punch! Of all people the english major screws that one up.

    However, on topic, I like what you have done with the place! Paperman should be fun until your neighbors start locking him up or hiding him, then hide and seek would be the order of the slow day. What are slow days like, I don’t remember.

  7. KanyonKris Says:

    I submit it is psychologically impossible to go #2 in that scenario, and even #1 would take incredible focus.

  8. Jonnie J Says:

    I just wanted to let you know that there was a sighting of a relative of “Paperman” at church on Sunday. Seriously someone was carrying a full clothed version of this creature. I had to know what the deal was but I couldn’t get down the crowded hallway in time to find out. Next week!

  9. evilreview Says:

    YOU FORGOT THE LITTLE ACCENT THINGY IN VOILA!!!

    • dug Says:

      yes, but irregardless of that, that’s a french word. i can’t be expected to speak all the languages, right?

      • Tonks Says:

        “The expression which means “behold!” is voila. It comes from a French expression literally meaning “look there!” In French it is spelled with a grave accent over the A, as voilà, but when it was adopted into English, it lost its accent.” I’m a language geek!

  10. Steve The BigRide Says:

    Who says “Paperman can’t jump” ?


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